Thursday, June 30, 2011, 8:12 PM
Alright, haven't blogged the past couple of days.
Not really supposed to be blogging now...but ah crap, I'm so sick of the shit I'm doing...so no harm taking some time off for a post. Besides, I did promise the child in the post below =p
So....mmm....where do I start? Okay, I'm just gonna recall the drips and draps of the interesting parts for the past couple days.
On Tuesday, yeah I went off to print my artbook for the submission on thursday (today). Messaged lingg all along the way and then she said she felt tired. So I urged her to take a nap, she did :) If only I could've been there to pat her to sleep haha...LIKEA CHILD!!!!! xD
After printing, I could draw up time since my work didn't require my desktop at home. I then headed to lingo's house...without informing her, was hoping to surprise her while she was asleep =p
Finally got there, called her phone and she didn't answer. So I knocked on the door. After awhile her dad answered it and I went in. Was so excited and slowly tip toed to her room. Peeped around the corner and....SHE WASN'T THERE!!!! D;
Things got odd so I tried calling her again. Still no answer.
I then laid down on her bed with my phone in my hand. Waiting for her to return my call. Somehow....guess I fell asleep =x
I woke again later at around 6.30 and she still wasn't back. Then I realise that her bag, which wasn't thre previously was lying on the lower bed. That means she came back? o.o
I called her again and this time qiu zhen picked up.
That lingo ah! Never call me back :(
Anyway, she came back not too long later. Then I was doing my sketches while the megachild sat beside me. We chatted as I worked hoho~~
As usual, 10 came soon after and I had to go. Fullhouse!
------------------Fast Forward to Wednesday night---------------------
Stuck in the bloody studios doing UV unwrapping. God I wasn't done yet, was really stressful. Some corruption happened to my file, luckily thanks to genius, managed to save it ;D
Phew....
So yeah did my work till 8 odd and lingg asked if she could come over. Of course!
She got here soon enough and I went to fetch her. She was hiding behind some pillar when I saw her! That child uh! Forever so lingo! xD
Then held her hand and went back to my studios. Think my classmates inside were like OoOoOOoooo when the child entered =p
So lingo sat beside me as I worked my remaining unwrapping. Finally done at around 9.30.
Then we could go! Saw her home hoho~~~ That child uh! Miss me so much xD *shy*
After that went to grab dinner before heading home. Slept at around 12 odd? Decided to leave the texturing to tomorrow. Too damn tired for the day.
So the next morning, which was today morning, I woke at 8 and began my texturing. Basically just laid down the solid colours first, details I'll leave it to after class.
Then blablabla went for class, handed in assignment. Early dismissal!
After dismissal immediately rushed back home. I needed as much time as I had to do up the textures just in case anything bad happens again.
So....yeah I'm texturing now. Technically speaking, taking a short break from it.
ALright, guess it's about time to resume work. Can't afford to waste too much time.
Miss the lingo uh! Wish she was by my side now =/
MEGACHILD!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not really supposed to be blogging now...but ah crap, I'm so sick of the shit I'm doing...so no harm taking some time off for a post. Besides, I did promise the child in the post below =p
So....mmm....where do I start? Okay, I'm just gonna recall the drips and draps of the interesting parts for the past couple days.
On Tuesday, yeah I went off to print my artbook for the submission on thursday (today). Messaged lingg all along the way and then she said she felt tired. So I urged her to take a nap, she did :) If only I could've been there to pat her to sleep haha...LIKEA CHILD!!!!! xD
After printing, I could draw up time since my work didn't require my desktop at home. I then headed to lingo's house...without informing her, was hoping to surprise her while she was asleep =p
Finally got there, called her phone and she didn't answer. So I knocked on the door. After awhile her dad answered it and I went in. Was so excited and slowly tip toed to her room. Peeped around the corner and....SHE WASN'T THERE!!!! D;
Things got odd so I tried calling her again. Still no answer.
I then laid down on her bed with my phone in my hand. Waiting for her to return my call. Somehow....guess I fell asleep =x
I woke again later at around 6.30 and she still wasn't back. Then I realise that her bag, which wasn't thre previously was lying on the lower bed. That means she came back? o.o
I called her again and this time qiu zhen picked up.
That lingo ah! Never call me back :(
Anyway, she came back not too long later. Then I was doing my sketches while the megachild sat beside me. We chatted as I worked hoho~~
As usual, 10 came soon after and I had to go. Fullhouse!
------------------Fast Forward to Wednesday night---------------------
Stuck in the bloody studios doing UV unwrapping. God I wasn't done yet, was really stressful. Some corruption happened to my file, luckily thanks to genius, managed to save it ;D
Phew....
So yeah did my work till 8 odd and lingg asked if she could come over. Of course!
She got here soon enough and I went to fetch her. She was hiding behind some pillar when I saw her! That child uh! Forever so lingo! xD
Then held her hand and went back to my studios. Think my classmates inside were like OoOoOOoooo when the child entered =p
So lingo sat beside me as I worked my remaining unwrapping. Finally done at around 9.30.
Then we could go! Saw her home hoho~~~ That child uh! Miss me so much xD *shy*
After that went to grab dinner before heading home. Slept at around 12 odd? Decided to leave the texturing to tomorrow. Too damn tired for the day.
So the next morning, which was today morning, I woke at 8 and began my texturing. Basically just laid down the solid colours first, details I'll leave it to after class.
Then blablabla went for class, handed in assignment. Early dismissal!
After dismissal immediately rushed back home. I needed as much time as I had to do up the textures just in case anything bad happens again.
So....yeah I'm texturing now. Technically speaking, taking a short break from it.
ALright, guess it's about time to resume work. Can't afford to waste too much time.
Miss the lingo uh! Wish she was by my side now =/
MEGACHILD!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I didn't blog tonight! I promise I'll blog tomorrow. Hopefully I can finish my textures tomorrow lingo....
Monday, June 27, 2011, 11:13 PM
Okay! Now to reblog about our 4th anniversary. 24th of June ^^
So...yeah back on that day...friday, we were still like...seperated. Deep down I so much wanted to be with her...yet....
I didn't know what to do. Then I thought...hey...maybe I could just drop by. I miss her so much.
Just so happens, when I was about to leave house, dad asked me to get tako for him, and sis wanted some pens too. So...I went to jp to get those stuff and grab some lunch before heading down to lingo's.
I picked this really fat and juicy looking tako xD Cost me 11 bucks =/
Then bused down to lingg's.
I called her to answer the door when I got there.
Then she opened it...I saw her at long last....after 2 long weeks...
Then well...I don't know how but it just felt really natural ya know? We really just...spent the time like as if nothing had happened at all. Maybe...that's how close we were, in just 4 short months...that we were so comfortable in each other's presence.
Time really flew and it was time for me to head back home. Then....she asked if she could come over for the night :) I agreed...
Bused down and all. Then played a little =p
After that, went down to SPC to get some snacks since lingo wanted to watch a movie on funshion. I did the icy cold trick on her legs again haha ~~
Then got back and started the show. It's some weird one called killer klowns from outer space. I initially thought that was some comedy till she told me it was freaky. LOL! =x
So munched on my tako, tako balls and snacks while we watched. Oh guess what? My dad told me his tummy wasn't feeling too well so I could have the tako instead =/
After the show ended, my tummy felt weird. I felt nauseous...maybe too much tako? Or the tako had been out for too long =/
With that, we went to bed at around 4. I hugged her to sleep :)
Somewhere in the middle of the night I woke and hugged her from behind lol =x Couple of other times she was facing me so I didn't dare to put my arms around her fearing I might wake her up.
I don't know...it felt like we were a wedded couple no..? haha...it's nice...
So we slept and slept and slept.
Finally woke the next afternoon at around 2? Then we got a little beeeeep and played again =x
Then we did a little work. Helped lingg with her autocad measurements. Mum got me food from jp for dinner :O
Then I ate...finished the rice but left a few sticks of stuff. Felt nauseous again ._.
This time it lasted longer and I think I kinda fell asleep a little after lying on my bed. Wonder what she did while my eyes were closed xD
After that....couldn't really recall what we did, but time flew again and soon it was 10.30. She had to return home.
I saw her down to the bus stop and we exchanged fullhouses. Haven't done that in a long time no? :)
Bus came soon and off she went :)
I wanna be with her....
Then I thought...the only way, would be to change myself.
So...yeah back on that day...friday, we were still like...seperated. Deep down I so much wanted to be with her...yet....
I didn't know what to do. Then I thought...hey...maybe I could just drop by. I miss her so much.
Just so happens, when I was about to leave house, dad asked me to get tako for him, and sis wanted some pens too. So...I went to jp to get those stuff and grab some lunch before heading down to lingo's.
I picked this really fat and juicy looking tako xD Cost me 11 bucks =/
Then bused down to lingg's.
I called her to answer the door when I got there.
Then she opened it...I saw her at long last....after 2 long weeks...
Then well...I don't know how but it just felt really natural ya know? We really just...spent the time like as if nothing had happened at all. Maybe...that's how close we were, in just 4 short months...that we were so comfortable in each other's presence.
Time really flew and it was time for me to head back home. Then....she asked if she could come over for the night :) I agreed...
Bused down and all. Then played a little =p
After that, went down to SPC to get some snacks since lingo wanted to watch a movie on funshion. I did the icy cold trick on her legs again haha ~~
Then got back and started the show. It's some weird one called killer klowns from outer space. I initially thought that was some comedy till she told me it was freaky. LOL! =x
So munched on my tako, tako balls and snacks while we watched. Oh guess what? My dad told me his tummy wasn't feeling too well so I could have the tako instead =/
After the show ended, my tummy felt weird. I felt nauseous...maybe too much tako? Or the tako had been out for too long =/
With that, we went to bed at around 4. I hugged her to sleep :)
Somewhere in the middle of the night I woke and hugged her from behind lol =x Couple of other times she was facing me so I didn't dare to put my arms around her fearing I might wake her up.
I don't know...it felt like we were a wedded couple no..? haha...it's nice...
So we slept and slept and slept.
Finally woke the next afternoon at around 2? Then we got a little beeeeep and played again =x
Then we did a little work. Helped lingg with her autocad measurements. Mum got me food from jp for dinner :O
Then I ate...finished the rice but left a few sticks of stuff. Felt nauseous again ._.
This time it lasted longer and I think I kinda fell asleep a little after lying on my bed. Wonder what she did while my eyes were closed xD
After that....couldn't really recall what we did, but time flew again and soon it was 10.30. She had to return home.
I saw her down to the bus stop and we exchanged fullhouses. Haven't done that in a long time no? :)
Bus came soon and off she went :)
I wanna be with her....
Then I thought...the only way, would be to change myself.
Alright, I'm here at lingo's house ._. with some pokemon music in the background :O
I swear it makes me feel like pulling out my poke ball to catch a......wild lingo! xD
So today I woke at 11 am, and then went to bathe and stuff. Get ready for school ya know? Yeah holidays ended already =/
I trained down as usual and messaged lingo on the way. Not forgetting I renewed my MRT concession today too :) 4 free rides xD
Got to school at 12.30. I swear it's searing hot today :( Ya know what? Train was pretty much crowded although it was 11 odd on a Monday morning. Seriously...does nobody needs to work? =x
Was really hot outside, so I went into the studios to hide a little. There's aircon there :) Then then went to peewee~~ xD
At around 12:45, went to check the lecture hall again and it was dead empty. I was like O.O don't tell me there's no lecture today....
Then I only saw 2 of my classmates there. We thought it was kinda odd so messaged and asked someone. Then we were told there wasn't supposed to be any lecture today D; Dayum!! Wasted time coming down to school.
Oh well, at least I still had to go for my print. Of which my 2 other classmates really came for nothing =/
I then trained down to dhoby ghaut and walked to peace center. Yeah it's kinda nice, not very crowded...BUT it's so hot!!! Luckily I was wearing berms =p
Walked to peace center and went for the print. Paid 12 bucks, waited a little. Stomach was growling as I waited =/
Then print was finally done, I then took them and checked for errors and stuff. Then realised quite alot of ammendments to make. My page borders weren't large enough, so bits of it got snuffed out =/ Then there was a section with missing texts =.= How could I have missed those seriously =.="
I had 2 page 12 =/ Some random sketch marks I forgot to eraze. All these made me go zzzzzzz. Then I was kinda sad. I wanted to leave the day to unwrapping...now it's for editing =.="
With that, I instantly headed home. Scrapped the initial idea of having popeyes at cathay. No mood to =/ I was lingo deprived too! Gosh!!
Trained back home and yeah...kinda shitty.
Went to macs to grab a quick lunch and then back home I went. Immediately got down to the editing. Started with the minor stuff first. Then moved onto the page borders. Then I eventually redid the lighting for some of the artwork O.O Cause cause I thought it wasn't good enough =x
Finally done at around 6 I think? Then headed down to ahlingo's.
Boring bus trip. Another cheena dude just had to make it worse. Talked so loud on the bus =.= I swear I hate those cheena dogs man :( They wanna scream, should just get their asses back to that uncivilised shit hole to scream. This ain't the place for them man....
Anyway, got to lingo's at around 7. Then went up.
Saw lingo! No more lingo deprival symptoms xD
hoho~~~
Then we just hugged and stuff. I laid on her lap again :) It's kinda nice to be with her again....I want her so much....
We just laid there chatting and hugging, kissing :) Then then for some reason. She fell asleep xD I pretended to, then I watched her sleep heh xD So cute! LIKE A CHILD!!
Then now, she's off eating dinner in the dining room. So..I took the time to blog since there ain't much to do. Lingo! Where's my egg! AHHHH!!!!
In any case...
I promised her...I will try my best to not argue with her again.
No matter how repressed I felt...I'll just have to keep it low and accomodate. Cause...I really wanna be with her....
That's the only way right?
I swear it makes me feel like pulling out my poke ball to catch a......wild lingo! xD
So today I woke at 11 am, and then went to bathe and stuff. Get ready for school ya know? Yeah holidays ended already =/
I trained down as usual and messaged lingo on the way. Not forgetting I renewed my MRT concession today too :) 4 free rides xD
Got to school at 12.30. I swear it's searing hot today :( Ya know what? Train was pretty much crowded although it was 11 odd on a Monday morning. Seriously...does nobody needs to work? =x
Was really hot outside, so I went into the studios to hide a little. There's aircon there :) Then then went to peewee~~ xD
At around 12:45, went to check the lecture hall again and it was dead empty. I was like O.O don't tell me there's no lecture today....
Then I only saw 2 of my classmates there. We thought it was kinda odd so messaged and asked someone. Then we were told there wasn't supposed to be any lecture today D; Dayum!! Wasted time coming down to school.
Oh well, at least I still had to go for my print. Of which my 2 other classmates really came for nothing =/
I then trained down to dhoby ghaut and walked to peace center. Yeah it's kinda nice, not very crowded...BUT it's so hot!!! Luckily I was wearing berms =p
Walked to peace center and went for the print. Paid 12 bucks, waited a little. Stomach was growling as I waited =/
Then print was finally done, I then took them and checked for errors and stuff. Then realised quite alot of ammendments to make. My page borders weren't large enough, so bits of it got snuffed out =/ Then there was a section with missing texts =.= How could I have missed those seriously =.="
I had 2 page 12 =/ Some random sketch marks I forgot to eraze. All these made me go zzzzzzz. Then I was kinda sad. I wanted to leave the day to unwrapping...now it's for editing =.="
With that, I instantly headed home. Scrapped the initial idea of having popeyes at cathay. No mood to =/ I was lingo deprived too! Gosh!!
Trained back home and yeah...kinda shitty.
Went to macs to grab a quick lunch and then back home I went. Immediately got down to the editing. Started with the minor stuff first. Then moved onto the page borders. Then I eventually redid the lighting for some of the artwork O.O Cause cause I thought it wasn't good enough =x
Finally done at around 6 I think? Then headed down to ahlingo's.
Boring bus trip. Another cheena dude just had to make it worse. Talked so loud on the bus =.= I swear I hate those cheena dogs man :( They wanna scream, should just get their asses back to that uncivilised shit hole to scream. This ain't the place for them man....
Anyway, got to lingo's at around 7. Then went up.
Saw lingo! No more lingo deprival symptoms xD
hoho~~~
Then we just hugged and stuff. I laid on her lap again :) It's kinda nice to be with her again....I want her so much....
We just laid there chatting and hugging, kissing :) Then then for some reason. She fell asleep xD I pretended to, then I watched her sleep heh xD So cute! LIKE A CHILD!!
Then now, she's off eating dinner in the dining room. So..I took the time to blog since there ain't much to do. Lingo! Where's my egg! AHHHH!!!!
In any case...
I promised her...I will try my best to not argue with her again.
No matter how repressed I felt...I'll just have to keep it low and accomodate. Cause...I really wanna be with her....
That's the only way right?
Sunday, June 26, 2011, 3:43 PM
Oops orange again xD Don't worry, just a practise, you'll get your blue sky =p
Can you imagine lingo on that iceberg with a silly face? :O
I CAN!!! xD
She is so silly! =D
Friday, June 24, 2011, 1:24 AM
Not the best sunset.....
But to the girl I love...
Happy 4th anniversary....
Thursday, June 23, 2011, 5:35 PM
I have never went out solo with any girl before, not unless I like her. That's the difference. Of course talking isn't flirting, otherwise I would have said that your whole class is flirting with you.
I never said talking is flirting at all...
You said I don't try...yes I do admit I don't try enough. But ever thought why? Has it occured to you what would change even if I tried?
Me trying harder,
Would it make me stop pursuing my dream?
Would it make you not get upset because I'm focused on my work?
Would it make us quarrel less than we were before?
Would you be any happier than you are now..?
It's not that I don't wanna try, it's not that I don't wanna make things work. If running off even though there was hope between us was ever my sole intention...would I still have stayed? Would I reject other girls trying to come into my life?
It's not that I don't wanna try...it's just that I don't see what ways there could be to remedy the huge problems between us. Do you have a better suggestion besides me giving up on my dream, so I can spend more time with you like I did in the past? If you do, I'd gladly hear it, and try it.
What were our hugs worth?
What were our kisses worth?
What were our laughters worth?
What were our handholds worth?
What were all our times together worth?
They are now...worth no more than a difference in opinion isn't it?
I still miss all those so much....
At times, I wish we could be like we were before....
Could we at all....?
I never said talking is flirting at all...
You said I don't try...yes I do admit I don't try enough. But ever thought why? Has it occured to you what would change even if I tried?
Me trying harder,
Would it make me stop pursuing my dream?
Would it make you not get upset because I'm focused on my work?
Would it make us quarrel less than we were before?
Would you be any happier than you are now..?
It's not that I don't wanna try, it's not that I don't wanna make things work. If running off even though there was hope between us was ever my sole intention...would I still have stayed? Would I reject other girls trying to come into my life?
It's not that I don't wanna try...it's just that I don't see what ways there could be to remedy the huge problems between us. Do you have a better suggestion besides me giving up on my dream, so I can spend more time with you like I did in the past? If you do, I'd gladly hear it, and try it.
What were our hugs worth?
What were our kisses worth?
What were our laughters worth?
What were our handholds worth?
What were all our times together worth?
They are now...worth no more than a difference in opinion isn't it?
I still miss all those so much....
At times, I wish we could be like we were before....
Could we at all....?
You told me you know how guy's flirts...yet what you told me was if that guy had the intention to be with you.
That is not true all the time, you turn yourself into a guy, you try being a hongster yourself, you might just get a little glimpse of how most think.
Some are just plain desperate for a girlfriend, some are afraid of commitments, so they don't do it the same way. Mindsets like this just go as far as having as many girls around our lives as possible. It doesn't necessarily have to deal with the typical way a guy would flirt: get together with you.
As such, in such terms, that guy wouldn't be afraid to tell you about other girls. Why? Because he has no intention to get together with you, he just wants another girl around to fling around with.
Yeah and he is telling you to move on. Yeah go on, listen to him....if you'd like it that much.
Despite many telling me to move on since I have already made my choice...somehow...I just couldn't budge. But if you wanna go on...then go....
Given our current situation, there isn't really any point for you to stay is there? So if you that much wanna move on, I won't stop you, and there is nothing I can do even if I wanted to.
Move on if you have to....but I'm not budging, I'm staying where I am.
But I'll miss you...
That is not true all the time, you turn yourself into a guy, you try being a hongster yourself, you might just get a little glimpse of how most think.
Some are just plain desperate for a girlfriend, some are afraid of commitments, so they don't do it the same way. Mindsets like this just go as far as having as many girls around our lives as possible. It doesn't necessarily have to deal with the typical way a guy would flirt: get together with you.
As such, in such terms, that guy wouldn't be afraid to tell you about other girls. Why? Because he has no intention to get together with you, he just wants another girl around to fling around with.
Yeah and he is telling you to move on. Yeah go on, listen to him....if you'd like it that much.
Despite many telling me to move on since I have already made my choice...somehow...I just couldn't budge. But if you wanna go on...then go....
Given our current situation, there isn't really any point for you to stay is there? So if you that much wanna move on, I won't stop you, and there is nothing I can do even if I wanted to.
Move on if you have to....but I'm not budging, I'm staying where I am.
But I'll miss you...
Wednesday, June 22, 2011, 5:02 PM
I miss her so bad....
When I found out about it....I couldn't stop thinking...I couldn't stop crying.
The worst feeling on earth, is to be cheated...or feel like you've been cheated upon. That feeling, is so much worse than any kind of hurt or feelings anyone can possibly go through. You've been through it, not once, but twice. You should know it...
I kept thinking. I kept trying to give myself reasons, to convince myself that I gotta believe there is nothing at all. All you wanted, was to have some company, someone to lend a listening ear.
Yet....I couldn't help leaning to the other end of my thoughts. This guy, someone I've never heard of before all these time we were together, all of a sudden asks you out on a solo date. I might....not have thought that much if it was someone you've been close along, ernest, that derrick guy, or maybe even zibin. That moment, I tried convincing myself that maybe he was just an old friend who lost contact with you...and that almost worked.
At least...till I saw your blog. What you made him out to be, it was so clear that guy you went with, was a total flirt. Obviously, he was attempting to flirt you. He probably told you that there's this girl he enjoys his time with, which means he likes her no? Then what the hell is he doing out solo with another girl? That shows as clear as water what kinda person he was, and what agenda he had. Then there was something about a 10cm dick...what exactly did you guys talk about...? I can;t fathom...the worse part was....to know...you'd let him flirt....
This past week. Yeah I did go out with my secondary school clique (and i'd still like to stress I never made any contact with any girl at all). First was start of the holidays, we went out to kbox, grabbed dinner and that was it. It was to kill time yes, but nothing different from me playing video games at home. That group weren't people I could share my heartfelt thoughts with. See my facebook statuses, see what they reply, and it's obvious this bunch...was no different from me staying at home.
Today I was with that group again, and all we did was have dinner. What's more, I met them there coincidentally. I have been dropping by jurong point alone the pass few days to have my meals. I never asked anyone with me, neither did any really bothered to look for me.
You said I get to ease my pain. I really don't see how so...
I go around alone. I even watched Super 8 alone. The 2 times I was with that group, there wasn't anything I could've have said to ease my own pain, neither did they attempt to comfort me either. Ease my pain with that group? That wasn't likely....and it never did....
There could've been someone I could have talked to. Remember me telling you that period when I first got to know you, there was another girl who liked me too? I don't know how she knew what was happening, could've been from our blogs, or from my facebook. She attempted to ask me out, told me that we could meet up and just have a little talk. It was tempting. She was a rather close friend, at least....on the closer side...before I really got to know you well enough.
That moment when she asked, it was tempting. There was someone who was willing to listen, someone to ease my thoughts with, and a pretty girl at that. Yet, I declined. I told her I was fine and that meeting up wasn't necessary. I eventually even stopped replying fearing she might start bugging or something. Why did I do that? Because I strictly believe in the word faith.
I know it is hurting enough for you now as it is....and the last thing I'd wanna do, is to throw another blow at you, throw the worse feeling on earth at you....adding insult to the wound. The last thing I'd wanna do...is to make you feel like you got cheated on...or even feel like you MIGHT have been cheated upon. Neither of those feelings...are anywhere great.
She was a friend on the closer side before we really got together. I eventually distant her because of you. I threw away a close friend...bearing in mind...I never had much of close friends to speak of. I didn't wannt any wrong ideas to pop out, I didn't wanna make you feel cheated...
Just yesterday, my ex talked to me all of a sudden again. Then she did the same thing, she attempted to ask me out. Hear me out. I knew things weren't that simple...even if it was, I didn't wanna take any chances. I did the same thing, and I eventually stopped replying her as well.
Even at this stage, at our current situation...
If I had been any other guy, I would've been long gone. I could probably have been in the arms of another girl. Yet I never wavered from that, I stuck to where my heart was with...you.
Then again...I guess it doesn't really matter that much to you anymore.
Now, I'm probably just another jerk in your eyes who chose his dream over you. A stupid jerk, a stupid guy, who despite having chosen his dream.....still kept his heart with you.
This guy...is so heartbroken. Yet...I guess we're even now then....I broke your heart because I chose to pursue my dream. And now you broke mine.
It's ok....you can go with anyone you like. I'm nobody now, and I have no right to enforce anything on you. You are free again....you can do whatever you want...go out with whoever you want....I don't care anymore...
Hey blog...I don't know. Depending on things, this could well be my last post...or not. I'm tired....so tired....
- The possible last post from the stupid guy who has always kept, and still keeps his heart with the girl he loves -
The worst feeling on earth, is to be cheated...or feel like you've been cheated upon. That feeling, is so much worse than any kind of hurt or feelings anyone can possibly go through. You've been through it, not once, but twice. You should know it...
I kept thinking. I kept trying to give myself reasons, to convince myself that I gotta believe there is nothing at all. All you wanted, was to have some company, someone to lend a listening ear.
Yet....I couldn't help leaning to the other end of my thoughts. This guy, someone I've never heard of before all these time we were together, all of a sudden asks you out on a solo date. I might....not have thought that much if it was someone you've been close along, ernest, that derrick guy, or maybe even zibin. That moment, I tried convincing myself that maybe he was just an old friend who lost contact with you...and that almost worked.
At least...till I saw your blog. What you made him out to be, it was so clear that guy you went with, was a total flirt. Obviously, he was attempting to flirt you. He probably told you that there's this girl he enjoys his time with, which means he likes her no? Then what the hell is he doing out solo with another girl? That shows as clear as water what kinda person he was, and what agenda he had. Then there was something about a 10cm dick...what exactly did you guys talk about...? I can;t fathom...the worse part was....to know...you'd let him flirt....
This past week. Yeah I did go out with my secondary school clique (and i'd still like to stress I never made any contact with any girl at all). First was start of the holidays, we went out to kbox, grabbed dinner and that was it. It was to kill time yes, but nothing different from me playing video games at home. That group weren't people I could share my heartfelt thoughts with. See my facebook statuses, see what they reply, and it's obvious this bunch...was no different from me staying at home.
Today I was with that group again, and all we did was have dinner. What's more, I met them there coincidentally. I have been dropping by jurong point alone the pass few days to have my meals. I never asked anyone with me, neither did any really bothered to look for me.
You said I get to ease my pain. I really don't see how so...
I go around alone. I even watched Super 8 alone. The 2 times I was with that group, there wasn't anything I could've have said to ease my own pain, neither did they attempt to comfort me either. Ease my pain with that group? That wasn't likely....and it never did....
There could've been someone I could have talked to. Remember me telling you that period when I first got to know you, there was another girl who liked me too? I don't know how she knew what was happening, could've been from our blogs, or from my facebook. She attempted to ask me out, told me that we could meet up and just have a little talk. It was tempting. She was a rather close friend, at least....on the closer side...before I really got to know you well enough.
That moment when she asked, it was tempting. There was someone who was willing to listen, someone to ease my thoughts with, and a pretty girl at that. Yet, I declined. I told her I was fine and that meeting up wasn't necessary. I eventually even stopped replying fearing she might start bugging or something. Why did I do that? Because I strictly believe in the word faith.
I know it is hurting enough for you now as it is....and the last thing I'd wanna do, is to throw another blow at you, throw the worse feeling on earth at you....adding insult to the wound. The last thing I'd wanna do...is to make you feel like you got cheated on...or even feel like you MIGHT have been cheated upon. Neither of those feelings...are anywhere great.
She was a friend on the closer side before we really got together. I eventually distant her because of you. I threw away a close friend...bearing in mind...I never had much of close friends to speak of. I didn't wannt any wrong ideas to pop out, I didn't wanna make you feel cheated...
Just yesterday, my ex talked to me all of a sudden again. Then she did the same thing, she attempted to ask me out. Hear me out. I knew things weren't that simple...even if it was, I didn't wanna take any chances. I did the same thing, and I eventually stopped replying her as well.
Even at this stage, at our current situation...
If I had been any other guy, I would've been long gone. I could probably have been in the arms of another girl. Yet I never wavered from that, I stuck to where my heart was with...you.
Then again...I guess it doesn't really matter that much to you anymore.
Now, I'm probably just another jerk in your eyes who chose his dream over you. A stupid jerk, a stupid guy, who despite having chosen his dream.....still kept his heart with you.
This guy...is so heartbroken. Yet...I guess we're even now then....I broke your heart because I chose to pursue my dream. And now you broke mine.
It's ok....you can go with anyone you like. I'm nobody now, and I have no right to enforce anything on you. You are free again....you can do whatever you want...go out with whoever you want....I don't care anymore...
Hey blog...I don't know. Depending on things, this could well be my last post...or not. I'm tired....so tired....
- The possible last post from the stupid guy who has always kept, and still keeps his heart with the girl he loves -
I don't understand....
What is faith worth?
That's right...it ain't worth anything.
It never is...
I'll be closing you soon...don't see the point anymore...
What is faith worth?
That's right...it ain't worth anything.
It never is...
I'll be closing you soon...don't see the point anymore...
Tuesday, June 21, 2011, 11:44 PM
I'm not gonna look anymore....
Just as I thought.....
Karma does exist doesn't it?
Karma does exist doesn't it?
Monday, June 20, 2011, 7:10 PM
Did my work late into the morning yesterday. Slept at about 4. Guess what? Gotta wake the next morning at 11...have to head to school to collect a video from group mates.
So yeah alarm rang and I got up reluctantly. Prepared and then headed out. Got there after a boring 1 hour travel?
Sat there and waited while my friend transferred the video over to my thumbdrive. More work =/
Was done by around 2. Then I thought...well...it's still kinda early and I don't really feel like doing any work at the moment. So thought of catching a movie. popper's penguin or super 8? Either one looks nice.
Then I was reminded of the newly renovated shaw house theatre at lido. Thought I'd make a visit there for my movie. So I checked the timings...and guess what, timings are so far apart. Didn't really feel like waiting long for just a movie. Then I went on to check GV's timing's.
So happens there was a slot of 4:35 at jurong point. So yeah just nice for me. I'd head down, grab some lunch and should be around there in time for the movie.
Along the journey back, I thought..I'd ask her.
Then I thought...hesitated...and then scrapped the thought. She wouldn't like that kinda movies anyway...
Reached jurong point at 3. Went to pepper lunch for my meal. Ordered the aglio oglio, not feeling enough though. If only I could upsize it like 3 times? lol =/
Then went walking around. Visited megamultimedia and comics con. Nothing interesting this time of the year, all the games that got me hot on the heels are dued at the end of the year. I swear I'ma be bankrupt around november =.="
Then walked around a little cause it wasn't time yet.
Saw couples all over....but...yeah...
Time was crawling and finally it was 4:35. Then I went in for the movie.
Movie lasted 2 hours and it ended at around 6.30. Show's not too bad, the ending could've been better though =/
Movies next on the list: Popper's penguins and dark of the moon!
After that, went to starbucks, got some coffee and headed back home. Think I'll chill a little with my coffee, play a little games. And then resume work at 10 maybe?
Group mates coming over tomorrow at 8 wtf ~.~ Oh well....just get everything over and done with, so I'd have more time to myself.
I barely have much time to do my own shit sigh....so tempting to quit school and stay home whole year round learning and practising my passion =x
~ Like a shooting star
~ Flying cross the room
~ So fast so far
~ You were gone too soon..
P.S. Seriously feel like giving a straight punch to those insensitive people =.=
So yeah alarm rang and I got up reluctantly. Prepared and then headed out. Got there after a boring 1 hour travel?
Sat there and waited while my friend transferred the video over to my thumbdrive. More work =/
Was done by around 2. Then I thought...well...it's still kinda early and I don't really feel like doing any work at the moment. So thought of catching a movie. popper's penguin or super 8? Either one looks nice.
Then I was reminded of the newly renovated shaw house theatre at lido. Thought I'd make a visit there for my movie. So I checked the timings...and guess what, timings are so far apart. Didn't really feel like waiting long for just a movie. Then I went on to check GV's timing's.
So happens there was a slot of 4:35 at jurong point. So yeah just nice for me. I'd head down, grab some lunch and should be around there in time for the movie.
Along the journey back, I thought..I'd ask her.
Then I thought...hesitated...and then scrapped the thought. She wouldn't like that kinda movies anyway...
Reached jurong point at 3. Went to pepper lunch for my meal. Ordered the aglio oglio, not feeling enough though. If only I could upsize it like 3 times? lol =/
Then went walking around. Visited megamultimedia and comics con. Nothing interesting this time of the year, all the games that got me hot on the heels are dued at the end of the year. I swear I'ma be bankrupt around november =.="
Then walked around a little cause it wasn't time yet.
Saw couples all over....but...yeah...
Time was crawling and finally it was 4:35. Then I went in for the movie.
Movie lasted 2 hours and it ended at around 6.30. Show's not too bad, the ending could've been better though =/
Movies next on the list: Popper's penguins and dark of the moon!
After that, went to starbucks, got some coffee and headed back home. Think I'll chill a little with my coffee, play a little games. And then resume work at 10 maybe?
Group mates coming over tomorrow at 8 wtf ~.~ Oh well....just get everything over and done with, so I'd have more time to myself.
I barely have much time to do my own shit sigh....so tempting to quit school and stay home whole year round learning and practising my passion =x
~ Like a shooting star
~ Flying cross the room
~ So fast so far
~ You were gone too soon..
P.S. Seriously feel like giving a straight punch to those insensitive people =.=
Sunday, June 19, 2011, 2:40 AM
Don't always pin your views on quotes. As much as how much sense most might make, it's all a certain perspective of someone.
One should follow the true desires of your heart, create your own meanings in life. Why follow blindly of a once said by someone else you don't even know?
There is sense and truth to most quotes, but think again, if everyone is set bent on following these quotes as they are said...then there wouldn't be anyone else who'd think another way would it? Everyone would be the same then.
You hate me...why? Because I have a different viewpoint from you?
Or is it because I said something that I never said before? These thoughts didn't come overnight, it was there a long way back.
Now you see what I mean? If I told you what I posted below, what would your reaction be? It'd be exactly what you are doing now, so that was why I never said anything really spoke much about these.
There could never really be true frankness between us is there...? When I'd just hide my own feelings too, because I know what would be the eventual result of it if I revealed them.
I miss you too....
Everytime I see a couple, I think of you.
Everytime I play a song about love, I think of you.
Everytime I do something we once did together before, I'd think of you.
We miss each other...we still love each other...but what is before us...
This "thing" that is creating this rift between us...can it be solved at all?
You know the answer to that don't you...?
Are you still wearing the ring...? Cause I still am....
Because I'm still hanging onto the hopes...that there...could really be a future between us...
Tell me...is that my own illusion? Or can that really become reality...?
One should follow the true desires of your heart, create your own meanings in life. Why follow blindly of a once said by someone else you don't even know?
There is sense and truth to most quotes, but think again, if everyone is set bent on following these quotes as they are said...then there wouldn't be anyone else who'd think another way would it? Everyone would be the same then.
You hate me...why? Because I have a different viewpoint from you?
Or is it because I said something that I never said before? These thoughts didn't come overnight, it was there a long way back.
Now you see what I mean? If I told you what I posted below, what would your reaction be? It'd be exactly what you are doing now, so that was why I never said anything really spoke much about these.
There could never really be true frankness between us is there...? When I'd just hide my own feelings too, because I know what would be the eventual result of it if I revealed them.
I miss you too....
Everytime I see a couple, I think of you.
Everytime I play a song about love, I think of you.
Everytime I do something we once did together before, I'd think of you.
We miss each other...we still love each other...but what is before us...
This "thing" that is creating this rift between us...can it be solved at all?
You know the answer to that don't you...?
Are you still wearing the ring...? Cause I still am....
Because I'm still hanging onto the hopes...that there...could really be a future between us...
Tell me...is that my own illusion? Or can that really become reality...?
I still remember you once told me that there were many things I didn't knew about, and that there wasn't any point saying them...since our view on things were so different and you probably didn't want any unneccesary quarrels.
There are things I didn't say either cause I felt the same. And knowing you, any I said probably wouldn't do any good besides making you angry and then we'd just end up quarreling...again.
You said you envied couples still together,
you envied couples anywhere you say them...
Me too.
Each time I'm out, and I see couples walking together, laughing and all...
So happy...
I was reminded of us...
I too so much wish we could be just like them...
Yet..both of us know, and you know better than me...even if we were like these couples out there...
How long would it last before we head to head in a conflict again?
So many couples I know share an amiable relationship. They are always happy with each other. Sure they do quarrel too once in awhile...it's impossible for two persons to share views on every subject, yet such quarrels happen maybe once every few months or even less...
Us....we never exceeded a week without quarreling once. The longest period that we never quarreled was just 4 days. That only happened twice. Besides these two...I would always expect a quarrel to pop out of nowhere.
I definitely loved the times we were laughing happily and all...but how long can these laughter carry us through before the continuous quarrels eat everything up?
I'm afraid of these quarrels now...and I'm so tired of them...
My love didn't fade,
But these quarrels are creating so much fear and exhaustion that even with love there, it doesn't really affect anything anymore...
Now....maybe it's just us having different views again...
I really wished you could embrace and support my ideals, like how I did your's.
When you finally told me you wanted AVT, that it was your passion...I cut no corners to help you get there. I urged you to change school even though I hoped you could be in the same school as me...that we can be together even during school. I helped you write appeal letters. I prayed every night hoping you would get accepted.
I still remember how happy I was when you told me you got in. I remembered that I was even happier than you were....
I supported your ideals...your passion...and helped you get there, even if my efforts didn't mean much. I really wanted to help you get where you wanted to go...
I wished you could do the same, that you would support my passion...yet that was just wishful thinking of my part. All that eventually mattered was whether I gave you attention or not...you never really bothered about what I wanted to achieve right?
To me, love is not about each other, not just caring for that other person. Yet also at the same time, mutual support and understanding...
Yet, guess our views on love is just different...it doesn't really matter how our definitions are does it..?
Today, I finally managed to master a painting technique and I was just...overjoyed. It would probably be the same joy I felt when you got accept into engineering. Yet...if you were beside me now...if I told you this....would you feel the same joy I felt back then? Or would something like this probably mean nothing to you at all? Or would it be such that at the end of the day, what would eventually matter to you...was whether I gave you attention or not?
Love is a wonderful thing....
Yet...I don't know why...
Or how...we would become like this...
There are things I didn't say either cause I felt the same. And knowing you, any I said probably wouldn't do any good besides making you angry and then we'd just end up quarreling...again.
You said you envied couples still together,
you envied couples anywhere you say them...
Me too.
Each time I'm out, and I see couples walking together, laughing and all...
So happy...
I was reminded of us...
I too so much wish we could be just like them...
Yet..both of us know, and you know better than me...even if we were like these couples out there...
How long would it last before we head to head in a conflict again?
So many couples I know share an amiable relationship. They are always happy with each other. Sure they do quarrel too once in awhile...it's impossible for two persons to share views on every subject, yet such quarrels happen maybe once every few months or even less...
Us....we never exceeded a week without quarreling once. The longest period that we never quarreled was just 4 days. That only happened twice. Besides these two...I would always expect a quarrel to pop out of nowhere.
I definitely loved the times we were laughing happily and all...but how long can these laughter carry us through before the continuous quarrels eat everything up?
I'm afraid of these quarrels now...and I'm so tired of them...
My love didn't fade,
But these quarrels are creating so much fear and exhaustion that even with love there, it doesn't really affect anything anymore...
Now....maybe it's just us having different views again...
I really wished you could embrace and support my ideals, like how I did your's.
When you finally told me you wanted AVT, that it was your passion...I cut no corners to help you get there. I urged you to change school even though I hoped you could be in the same school as me...that we can be together even during school. I helped you write appeal letters. I prayed every night hoping you would get accepted.
I still remember how happy I was when you told me you got in. I remembered that I was even happier than you were....
I supported your ideals...your passion...and helped you get there, even if my efforts didn't mean much. I really wanted to help you get where you wanted to go...
I wished you could do the same, that you would support my passion...yet that was just wishful thinking of my part. All that eventually mattered was whether I gave you attention or not...you never really bothered about what I wanted to achieve right?
To me, love is not about each other, not just caring for that other person. Yet also at the same time, mutual support and understanding...
Yet, guess our views on love is just different...it doesn't really matter how our definitions are does it..?
Today, I finally managed to master a painting technique and I was just...overjoyed. It would probably be the same joy I felt when you got accept into engineering. Yet...if you were beside me now...if I told you this....would you feel the same joy I felt back then? Or would something like this probably mean nothing to you at all? Or would it be such that at the end of the day, what would eventually matter to you...was whether I gave you attention or not?
Love is a wonderful thing....
Yet...I don't know why...
Or how...we would become like this...
Saturday, June 18, 2011, 12:53 AM
Hey bloggie....
Guess she's going out with someone else now...haha...
Guess that's...just well enough reason for me to stop thinking, stop believing isn't it?
Time to face the fact that it's time to leave things behind. She's got someone else now, your cue...or rather...
My cue...for me to move on...
Guess she's going out with someone else now...haha...
Guess that's...just well enough reason for me to stop thinking, stop believing isn't it?
Time to face the fact that it's time to leave things behind. She's got someone else now, your cue...or rather...
My cue...for me to move on...
Friday, June 17, 2011, 10:21 PM
Met up with my secondary school clique today. Those guys are still the same as I remembered them.
Leon's the usual troller,
Jun Boon's the usual him, with a nice makeover haha...
Yiru's the usual joker, full of randomness - He actually asked today over the phone if Scape is at the Kranji War Memorial O.O
Hiang Wee is the usual nonchalant chubby dude,
Yiliang is still the silent guy,
We just really hung out today. Went to Kbox @ scape and just chilled out. Then went to adelphi to get wee's 200 buck earpiece =.=
After that it was all nothing much but just hanging out, chatting and stuff. Like what friends do.
Can't help remembering my times with her when around people I know well.
So happens I went to the rooftop of the scape building today, and it oversaw the bus stop behind cineleisure. Then it reminded me of how we used to take bus home from there together haha...
Then there was this once she was totally pissed with me and ignored me the whole journey, I never got to know the reason why =/
I wonder what's she up to recently. Who knows...maybe she already got another guy to hang out with. Then again...I no longer have any rights to interfere with her life...
P.S. Just had macs again, swear I'm so sick of it :(
Leon's the usual troller,
Jun Boon's the usual him, with a nice makeover haha...
Yiru's the usual joker, full of randomness - He actually asked today over the phone if Scape is at the Kranji War Memorial O.O
Hiang Wee is the usual nonchalant chubby dude,
Yiliang is still the silent guy,
We just really hung out today. Went to Kbox @ scape and just chilled out. Then went to adelphi to get wee's 200 buck earpiece =.=
After that it was all nothing much but just hanging out, chatting and stuff. Like what friends do.
Can't help remembering my times with her when around people I know well.
So happens I went to the rooftop of the scape building today, and it oversaw the bus stop behind cineleisure. Then it reminded me of how we used to take bus home from there together haha...
Then there was this once she was totally pissed with me and ignored me the whole journey, I never got to know the reason why =/
I wonder what's she up to recently. Who knows...maybe she already got another guy to hang out with. Then again...I no longer have any rights to interfere with her life...
P.S. Just had macs again, swear I'm so sick of it :(
Oh my gosh...can't believe I'm still not sleeping...
It's already 3.30 in the morning =/
Gotta wake early tomorrow at 9 ~.~ I'm so screwed D;
Hope I don't yawn like no tomorrow xD
It's already 3.30 in the morning =/
Gotta wake early tomorrow at 9 ~.~ I'm so screwed D;
Hope I don't yawn like no tomorrow xD
Thursday, June 16, 2011, 12:07 PM
It's been two days since we last talked....
I don't deserve anything from her.
I don't deserve her love,
I don't deserve to still hold her hand,
I don't deserve to still kiss her,
I don't deserve to still touch her,
I don't deserve to talk to her...
Alright, those aside.....kinda hooked onto jet lag by simple plan recently. Really great song!
Finally settled for a beast for my creature design assignment. Looking good so far, just need to polish it up and do up the remaining deliverables.
Fushion of a rhino and ankylosaurus....a warm blooded creature fused with a cold blooded one. Gets me thinking....what would the offspring be? An egg? Or a full grown baby? Hard choice to make isn't it?
Don't really like the tail, might do some changes to it too.
Hell I'm feeling kinda hungry, don't feel like eating macs again...
Had that for lunch and dinner yesterday =.= I swear it gets my going onto the path of puking :(
So much assignments ahhhh!!!!
I don't deserve anything from her.
I don't deserve her love,
I don't deserve to still hold her hand,
I don't deserve to still kiss her,
I don't deserve to still touch her,
I don't deserve to talk to her...
Alright, those aside.....kinda hooked onto jet lag by simple plan recently. Really great song!
Finally settled for a beast for my creature design assignment. Looking good so far, just need to polish it up and do up the remaining deliverables.
Fushion of a rhino and ankylosaurus....a warm blooded creature fused with a cold blooded one. Gets me thinking....what would the offspring be? An egg? Or a full grown baby? Hard choice to make isn't it?
Don't really like the tail, might do some changes to it too.
Hell I'm feeling kinda hungry, don't feel like eating macs again...
Had that for lunch and dinner yesterday =.= I swear it gets my going onto the path of puking :(
So much assignments ahhhh!!!!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011, 10:09 PM
Who the hell do I think I am...?
Sunday, June 12, 2011, 9:13 AM
I'll be missing you....
After class yesterday, I went on to vivo to meet lingo. I guess that's...a nice place to spend some last time together isn't it...?
I got there at around 7 odd and headed straight up to the sky garden. There I found lingg standing and leaning against the railings. I told myself, to smile. I did and then walked up to her and gave her a shoulder prank. As expected, she looked in the wrong direction haha..
Then we sat down. Wasn't our usual spot though. Then we...started talking and reminiscening things...
Then lingo folded couple of hearts using flyers she got along the way =x
Then then this pimp face and his two pimped women came and spoilt the mood! D; Mass hokkien words and hokkien songs spam. Sigh....
In any case, I tried being my usual self, cracking jokes and lame stuff...to try and make her laugh. Well she did :) Although...once in awhile...I can't help but feel down.
Then at around 9, there were fireworks coming from the universal studios and the crane performance. It wasn't much, but still a good sight. Just in time and plain sight isn't it? We watched the show of sparkly explosions together.
Oh and another thing...I really never thought I'd get to see lingo in that white shirt ever. I really never did thought I'd ever get that chance...but she was wearing it that day :)
Soon, time to go. We took a bus and headed back to her house. Yeah...I'll be staying over.
Kinda hungry when we got there, she got some food from the dinner her mum conjured up earlier. After finishing my meal, I had some ice cream too! Then I felt uncomfortable, moving bowels =x
So I went to "sit" in the toilet =p Should have rang lingg up to let her hear the nice explosions haha....
I always forgot to do so, can't believe I still forgot doing so that night. Now...I won't get another chance....
Then we were in her room, like usual. Talking and stuff. To be honest, it felt like it was any other normal day...that nothing had happened at all. If only it was that way...
Then at around 12 odd, we got a little hyped I guess haha...so we played till around 3.
Then..it was time to sleep. As usual, I cried a little as I closed my eyes. Knowing that the day had ended...and the next time I open my eyes again...all this wonder, all this beauty will be gone.
I couldn't really sleep well. Woke up a couple of times. Till at around 9, I finally gave up sleeping. So I sat up and watched lingo sleep. I never really got that chance to see her sleep did I? Well...somehow she could feel my presence? She woke too =/
I only caught maybe a few seconds glimpse of her sleeping =/
We just kept staring at each other. Or at least...I kept staring at her. I wanted to note down, remember and register every single little detail on that silly face of hers. I wanted...to remember her....
Then soon, my mum called me. I rejected the call, and she sent me a message. Urging me to return home.
I told lingg I had to go...and she broke down. Watching her cry like this....it made my heart ache...my tears flowed too...
I tried consoling her...but guess it didn't work. After a little crying together...I got my stuff and she saw me to the door.
I...I really couldn't bear to leave...
I wanted to go...but somehow I turned back and held her hand again. We hugged....and cried in each other's embrace. Then I tried really hard to swallow my tears, I told myself I wanted to leave a good impression when I left. I wanted...to give her a smile...
I did.
Then I turned and left. That moment...all the tears I held back, all came out. As I walked to the lift lobby...I kept turning back...
I wanted to see her....as much as I could...
Even after taking the lift to the bottom, I looked up again. There, I saw her looking down too...I waved to her, but she never waved back..
I saw 157, but kinda...ignored it...I wanted to see her little face again...even if it's just a blob in the distance.
I stood there and watched her...and watched...and watched...
Then I thought the next 157 came, so I went on. Realising it was a mistake, I quickly ran back to the sheltered area...hoping lingg was still there. I got there and looked up...she was already gone...
I still so much wanna hold her hand and continue walking on..walking down this road. Yet she's afraid....
But I'll wait for her...
Lingg....I'll wait for you...
I'll wait for you to step into my life again if you will...
I'll wait for you, and hold your hand again...
I'll wait for you, to give you kisses again...
I'll wait for you...to walk on this journey again...
I'll keep waiting lingg...till you come back...
I love you.....and I miss you...
I'll miss you so much....
I got there at around 7 odd and headed straight up to the sky garden. There I found lingg standing and leaning against the railings. I told myself, to smile. I did and then walked up to her and gave her a shoulder prank. As expected, she looked in the wrong direction haha..
Then we sat down. Wasn't our usual spot though. Then we...started talking and reminiscening things...
Then lingo folded couple of hearts using flyers she got along the way =x
Then then this pimp face and his two pimped women came and spoilt the mood! D; Mass hokkien words and hokkien songs spam. Sigh....
In any case, I tried being my usual self, cracking jokes and lame stuff...to try and make her laugh. Well she did :) Although...once in awhile...I can't help but feel down.
Then at around 9, there were fireworks coming from the universal studios and the crane performance. It wasn't much, but still a good sight. Just in time and plain sight isn't it? We watched the show of sparkly explosions together.
Oh and another thing...I really never thought I'd get to see lingo in that white shirt ever. I really never did thought I'd ever get that chance...but she was wearing it that day :)
Soon, time to go. We took a bus and headed back to her house. Yeah...I'll be staying over.
Kinda hungry when we got there, she got some food from the dinner her mum conjured up earlier. After finishing my meal, I had some ice cream too! Then I felt uncomfortable, moving bowels =x
So I went to "sit" in the toilet =p Should have rang lingg up to let her hear the nice explosions haha....
I always forgot to do so, can't believe I still forgot doing so that night. Now...I won't get another chance....
Then we were in her room, like usual. Talking and stuff. To be honest, it felt like it was any other normal day...that nothing had happened at all. If only it was that way...
Then at around 12 odd, we got a little hyped I guess haha...so we played till around 3.
Then..it was time to sleep. As usual, I cried a little as I closed my eyes. Knowing that the day had ended...and the next time I open my eyes again...all this wonder, all this beauty will be gone.
I couldn't really sleep well. Woke up a couple of times. Till at around 9, I finally gave up sleeping. So I sat up and watched lingo sleep. I never really got that chance to see her sleep did I? Well...somehow she could feel my presence? She woke too =/
I only caught maybe a few seconds glimpse of her sleeping =/
We just kept staring at each other. Or at least...I kept staring at her. I wanted to note down, remember and register every single little detail on that silly face of hers. I wanted...to remember her....
Then soon, my mum called me. I rejected the call, and she sent me a message. Urging me to return home.
I told lingg I had to go...and she broke down. Watching her cry like this....it made my heart ache...my tears flowed too...
I tried consoling her...but guess it didn't work. After a little crying together...I got my stuff and she saw me to the door.
I...I really couldn't bear to leave...
I wanted to go...but somehow I turned back and held her hand again. We hugged....and cried in each other's embrace. Then I tried really hard to swallow my tears, I told myself I wanted to leave a good impression when I left. I wanted...to give her a smile...
I did.
Then I turned and left. That moment...all the tears I held back, all came out. As I walked to the lift lobby...I kept turning back...
I wanted to see her....as much as I could...
Even after taking the lift to the bottom, I looked up again. There, I saw her looking down too...I waved to her, but she never waved back..
I saw 157, but kinda...ignored it...I wanted to see her little face again...even if it's just a blob in the distance.
I stood there and watched her...and watched...and watched...
Then I thought the next 157 came, so I went on. Realising it was a mistake, I quickly ran back to the sheltered area...hoping lingg was still there. I got there and looked up...she was already gone...
I still so much wanna hold her hand and continue walking on..walking down this road. Yet she's afraid....
But I'll wait for her...
Lingg....I'll wait for you...
I'll wait for you to step into my life again if you will...
I'll wait for you, and hold your hand again...
I'll wait for you, to give you kisses again...
I'll wait for you...to walk on this journey again...
I'll keep waiting lingg...till you come back...
I love you.....and I miss you...
I'll miss you so much....
Thursday, June 9, 2011, 11:34 PM
I miss her so much..guess I'll just have to grit my teeth and make it through this...
Submission for UV unwrapping tomorrow...and I'm not done yet. Hate it seriously...sigh...
Submission for UV unwrapping tomorrow...and I'm not done yet. Hate it seriously...sigh...
Wednesday, June 8, 2011, 11:23 PM
I don't understand. i really don't....
Why? Why force me to forget you? Is it a sin to remember?
Is it a sin to remember the times we shared together?
Is it a sin to hold onto the memories dear to me?
Is it a sin to remember a girl I love?
Is it a sin to continue walking down that path alone if so I will?
is it a sin to keep holding on...?
I don't get it...
You once told me, you once made me promise that I'll never forget you.
Might've been an ordinary promise, but yes, I wanna remember you.
Why force me to forget you??
You also said I'm pretending to be sad. Is there a need to if I'm really pretending?
Would I be in a daze all day if I were pretending?
Would I ever wake up earlier than I need to if I were pretending?
Would I have sleepless nights if I were pretending?
Need I pretend even in front of people I don't know well?
Can I pretend so well people actually ask why I'm looking so solemn, and unusually quiet?
I'm devastated over you...over this end.
Then you claim I'm pretending cause I was the one who gave up...
Did you think I wanna give up? I never did, at least not now. But you said it yourself, even if we got back together, it wouldn't be what you want. That said, would if matter if I fought to win you back, to win you back to an unhappy place?
Do I have a choice here? I'm left with none. That day I saw you turn your back and walk into the exam hall...I so badly wanna cry.
I so sadly wanna run over and hug you, pull you back. Yet...could I?
I cry every time I see our photos, everytime I close my eyes to sleep.
I so much want to hold your hand again, peck you on your cheeks again. Embrace you in my arms again...
You call that all pretending.
And ya know what? I don't have anyone to turn to. I know you aren't having this easy either...but you have your jie, ernest. Even if they're not there, you can easily find a random guy to confide in, anyone would be more than happy to listen. At least you have mediums to get it off your chest.
Me? People I try talking to, they think this is funny. They makes drama jokes outta it, they laugh it off. They tell me why give up the whole forest for a single tree. They make it look like you were some whore I could easily replace and those words hurt me so much.
I deal with it all myself. I cry in my room myself, no one to talk to, no one to turn to, not a single soul bothers to listen, and you call all this pretending.
Yes...pretending...
Why? Why force me to forget you? Is it a sin to remember?
Is it a sin to remember the times we shared together?
Is it a sin to hold onto the memories dear to me?
Is it a sin to remember a girl I love?
Is it a sin to continue walking down that path alone if so I will?
is it a sin to keep holding on...?
I don't get it...
You once told me, you once made me promise that I'll never forget you.
Might've been an ordinary promise, but yes, I wanna remember you.
Why force me to forget you??
You also said I'm pretending to be sad. Is there a need to if I'm really pretending?
Would I be in a daze all day if I were pretending?
Would I ever wake up earlier than I need to if I were pretending?
Would I have sleepless nights if I were pretending?
Need I pretend even in front of people I don't know well?
Can I pretend so well people actually ask why I'm looking so solemn, and unusually quiet?
I'm devastated over you...over this end.
Then you claim I'm pretending cause I was the one who gave up...
Did you think I wanna give up? I never did, at least not now. But you said it yourself, even if we got back together, it wouldn't be what you want. That said, would if matter if I fought to win you back, to win you back to an unhappy place?
Do I have a choice here? I'm left with none. That day I saw you turn your back and walk into the exam hall...I so badly wanna cry.
I so sadly wanna run over and hug you, pull you back. Yet...could I?
I cry every time I see our photos, everytime I close my eyes to sleep.
I so much want to hold your hand again, peck you on your cheeks again. Embrace you in my arms again...
You call that all pretending.
And ya know what? I don't have anyone to turn to. I know you aren't having this easy either...but you have your jie, ernest. Even if they're not there, you can easily find a random guy to confide in, anyone would be more than happy to listen. At least you have mediums to get it off your chest.
Me? People I try talking to, they think this is funny. They makes drama jokes outta it, they laugh it off. They tell me why give up the whole forest for a single tree. They make it look like you were some whore I could easily replace and those words hurt me so much.
I deal with it all myself. I cry in my room myself, no one to talk to, no one to turn to, not a single soul bothers to listen, and you call all this pretending.
Yes...pretending...
sigh....she won't even let me keep that hairband of hers.
I can't bear to remove the ring....I just can't...
I don't really know what to say....sigh...
I can't bear to remove the ring....I just can't...
I don't really know what to say....sigh...
Tuesday, June 7, 2011, 10:42 PM
I don't even dare to text her now....
Dust & Ashes
I don't have anyone else to talk to....so I'll be talking to you. Lend me a ear....and bear with me...
Last night, she told me...lingo told me that she's leaving.
You saw that right, she's leaving for good. I was so devastated...I thought I could do something to change things...but I guess not...
For a girl like her, for someone like her who doesn't give up easily...to finally say those words. She must...must've had enough...so nothing I say...will make her stay.
She ignored me, I tried talking to her..I spammed messages, calls...all to no avail. There was nothing I could do...I hugged her hairband to sleep. I so badly wanna feel her presence, at least one last time. I wanna...hear her voice one last time. And I wanna...see that silly face of her's one last time...
I cried myself to slepp.
When I woke the next morning, I was still clutching her hairband tightly...
I prepared for school, and I tried contacting her again. Nothing worked...
I figured, I'll go look for her after school, even it meant waiting outside her house till she came out...I wanted to see her at least one last time.
I couldn't concentrate in class...till finally we were dismissed.
I was really hungry...yet I couldn't bother to eat, I rushed down to her area immediately. I didn't wanna...risk missing her when she left house.
I finally got there at around 1, then I called her. Hoping so much she would answer the call...she did. My hope swelled. She opened the door to let me in...
Then she went to continue with her studies. I sat on her bed, looking at her back view, knowing that...this might be my last time seeing it. I just couldn't take my eyes off, I wanna remember every last bit of her...
Then for some reason, she stopped her studies. Then...she came and sat beside me. I looked at her for awhile, then uncontrollably reached out to her hands and hugged her. When I did...tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn't bear to see her go...
Yet that was a fact....she's gonna be leaving me soon. Lingo...is leaving me for good. I hugged her tightly, I carressed her head....I wanna remember how it's like to hug her, how it's like to hug this girl I love.
Then after awhile, she pulled me off. I was crying.
She...helped me wipe my tears. That moment...I thought maybe I could still salvage this...
Yet...I guess I was wrong.
After that she went to prepare for school. I laid down on her bed, thinking back at our times together. How she'd make me stay when I despaired...turns out I'm doing the same now. Difference is...she won't be staying.
After she was done, she came up and crawled to me. I held her hand and asked her.. "Are you really gonna leave?"
I was hoping for her to say that she isn't....but she looked at me, and kept quiet. That moment, all my hopes were shattered. I guess...she's determined to go. Then it occured to me, that from now till I left her after seeing her to the exam venue. That...would prolly be our last moments together...
So I saw her down. I don't know why...she still held my hand on her accord. I didn't know what was going on in her mind. Didn't she wanna leave...? Or maybe...just like me...she just wants to spend our last moments together.
All along the way, I tried so hard to contain my tears.
Finally, we got to her school. Went to the exam venue.
I held her hand there as we awaited. That moment I wished...4 pm never came, that I could still keep holding on to her. That she was still with me...
Time didn't stop. Then it was time for her to go. I pecked her on her cheek, knowing that could be my last chance. Then we held each other's hands even tighter, and she kissed me on my lips too...
Then it's time for her to enter the exam hall. I watched as her hands slipped away from mine. The thought that I'll never be able to hold them again....hurt me so much....I tried so hard to swallow my tears.
I watched as she walked away...and eventually fade away from my sight.
She was...gone...
After that, I walked out the school to the bus stop for 157 home. I was hungry....thirsty and the sun was scorching. Then I suddenly felt dizzy...then I wished that maybe if I suffered a stroke her and now, close my eyes and left this world. Maybe...I wouldn't have to bear with this sadness....
I was in a daze all the way back home. I didn't eat...I just wanna head back home. Lie down..close my eyes and not think about things. That was my only escape...
Now I'm blogging...cause I so badly needed to talk to someone..or something. It's so hard to bear....I tried so hard not to cry as I blog. Yet those tears....they just kept flowing...
I kept checking back at her facebook status...hoping she would not remove our relationship status...I don't know why...but I'm still trying so hard to convince myself she's still here with me. That she's not gone yet....
I miss her so much bloggie.....I don't know what to do...
I don't know....everything, it all seems to have became dust...and ashes....
If only there was a way that I wouldn't need to bear with this sadness anymore...
Last night, she told me...lingo told me that she's leaving.
You saw that right, she's leaving for good. I was so devastated...I thought I could do something to change things...but I guess not...
For a girl like her, for someone like her who doesn't give up easily...to finally say those words. She must...must've had enough...so nothing I say...will make her stay.
She ignored me, I tried talking to her..I spammed messages, calls...all to no avail. There was nothing I could do...I hugged her hairband to sleep. I so badly wanna feel her presence, at least one last time. I wanna...hear her voice one last time. And I wanna...see that silly face of her's one last time...
I cried myself to slepp.
When I woke the next morning, I was still clutching her hairband tightly...
I prepared for school, and I tried contacting her again. Nothing worked...
I figured, I'll go look for her after school, even it meant waiting outside her house till she came out...I wanted to see her at least one last time.
I couldn't concentrate in class...till finally we were dismissed.
I was really hungry...yet I couldn't bother to eat, I rushed down to her area immediately. I didn't wanna...risk missing her when she left house.
I finally got there at around 1, then I called her. Hoping so much she would answer the call...she did. My hope swelled. She opened the door to let me in...
Then she went to continue with her studies. I sat on her bed, looking at her back view, knowing that...this might be my last time seeing it. I just couldn't take my eyes off, I wanna remember every last bit of her...
Then for some reason, she stopped her studies. Then...she came and sat beside me. I looked at her for awhile, then uncontrollably reached out to her hands and hugged her. When I did...tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn't bear to see her go...
Yet that was a fact....she's gonna be leaving me soon. Lingo...is leaving me for good. I hugged her tightly, I carressed her head....I wanna remember how it's like to hug her, how it's like to hug this girl I love.
Then after awhile, she pulled me off. I was crying.
She...helped me wipe my tears. That moment...I thought maybe I could still salvage this...
Yet...I guess I was wrong.
After that she went to prepare for school. I laid down on her bed, thinking back at our times together. How she'd make me stay when I despaired...turns out I'm doing the same now. Difference is...she won't be staying.
After she was done, she came up and crawled to me. I held her hand and asked her.. "Are you really gonna leave?"
I was hoping for her to say that she isn't....but she looked at me, and kept quiet. That moment, all my hopes were shattered. I guess...she's determined to go. Then it occured to me, that from now till I left her after seeing her to the exam venue. That...would prolly be our last moments together...
So I saw her down. I don't know why...she still held my hand on her accord. I didn't know what was going on in her mind. Didn't she wanna leave...? Or maybe...just like me...she just wants to spend our last moments together.
All along the way, I tried so hard to contain my tears.
Finally, we got to her school. Went to the exam venue.
I held her hand there as we awaited. That moment I wished...4 pm never came, that I could still keep holding on to her. That she was still with me...
Time didn't stop. Then it was time for her to go. I pecked her on her cheek, knowing that could be my last chance. Then we held each other's hands even tighter, and she kissed me on my lips too...
Then it's time for her to enter the exam hall. I watched as her hands slipped away from mine. The thought that I'll never be able to hold them again....hurt me so much....I tried so hard to swallow my tears.
I watched as she walked away...and eventually fade away from my sight.
She was...gone...
After that, I walked out the school to the bus stop for 157 home. I was hungry....thirsty and the sun was scorching. Then I suddenly felt dizzy...then I wished that maybe if I suffered a stroke her and now, close my eyes and left this world. Maybe...I wouldn't have to bear with this sadness....
I was in a daze all the way back home. I didn't eat...I just wanna head back home. Lie down..close my eyes and not think about things. That was my only escape...
Now I'm blogging...cause I so badly needed to talk to someone..or something. It's so hard to bear....I tried so hard not to cry as I blog. Yet those tears....they just kept flowing...
I kept checking back at her facebook status...hoping she would not remove our relationship status...I don't know why...but I'm still trying so hard to convince myself she's still here with me. That she's not gone yet....
I miss her so much bloggie.....I don't know what to do...
I don't know....everything, it all seems to have became dust...and ashes....
If only there was a way that I wouldn't need to bear with this sadness anymore...
Monday, June 6, 2011, 10:46 PM
Fear
Woke up at 11 today. Lecture at 1, I prepared to bathe...then thought about it. On second thoughts...maybe not. It's just an hour's lecture, and throw in 2 hours of travel time. That is 3 hours, I can do so much more with that time.
With that thought in mind, I dropped the idea of going to school for today and sat down to continue my modeling. Got a damn submission tomorrow. I swear I hate 3D modeling, never gonna be a 3D artist lol =/
Sticking to concept arts. I could feel so much flow and imagination doing concept arts. It's a passion shall I say, it's what I was born to do :O
So yeah...sat down to start on the bloody model :( sigh...
Awhile later at 12 odd lingo messaged me. Asking if we could meet, I couldn't be happier. Then then....some conflict happened again. I didn't want her to be sad again, I didn't wanna affect her mood too much since it's her exams, I didn't want us to be apart again so soon after coming together. Hence I went down to her house.
Got there, then we started chatting and stuff. Later on, lingo tried making me eat something cause I haven't eaten. Well I kept refusing, real lazy =x Yeah lazy to go anywhere so soon when I just came up lol =/
Then we played, talked and all. Then blabla~~~~ araraarara
What happened? :O Oops no idea =p
By then, time flew and it was 5. Finally I decided to get some food cause I was really starving already. So we went down together. I got roti prata, curry puff and popiah! The curry puff was a hoax though! The chicken inside was burnt =.=""
Anyway, went back to lingg's house and I ate my dinner plus lunch lol :O
After that was done. my ulcer started hurting like crazy :( Curry must have aggravated it :( It hurts even when I didn't touch it...
Oh well...still had to work though. So both of us went back into the room to do our work. I continued my model while lingg did her studies for tomorrow's paper.
I got stuck halfway....really had to wreck my brains for a solution. SO worked and worked andddd eventually, at around 9 odd. We both finally did what he aimed to do for the day. The rest of the fine tuning, I'll leave it to tomorrow :O
Soon time came for me to go. Mum was already bugging me =.="
So yeah...she went down with me. 157 came like immediately today =.= So I rushed after it! Best get home as soon as possible before something bad happens again =x
Got home not too long later to realise that my net's down again =.= Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Fortunately, after some fiddling around, managed to revive it. That's how I'm blogging her now :) Since...well...don't really wanna do the model anymore. Had enough of it for the day =.=
Yeah...guess that's about it for today.
She fears suppressing herself, like she said. That's her fear, and I have mine too. Guess each and every one of us...have fears somewhere within don't we?
I live in fear everyday, that one thing that happened back then....will one day come back to haunt me. EVentually take this girl I love away from me. I try telling myself every time I'm just thinking too much. There's nothing of that sort...yet...if you do believe in karma....that's it. It'll come back one day...and I'm just...sitting and waiting for that day to come....
With that thought in mind, I dropped the idea of going to school for today and sat down to continue my modeling. Got a damn submission tomorrow. I swear I hate 3D modeling, never gonna be a 3D artist lol =/
Sticking to concept arts. I could feel so much flow and imagination doing concept arts. It's a passion shall I say, it's what I was born to do :O
So yeah...sat down to start on the bloody model :( sigh...
Awhile later at 12 odd lingo messaged me. Asking if we could meet, I couldn't be happier. Then then....some conflict happened again. I didn't want her to be sad again, I didn't wanna affect her mood too much since it's her exams, I didn't want us to be apart again so soon after coming together. Hence I went down to her house.
Got there, then we started chatting and stuff. Later on, lingo tried making me eat something cause I haven't eaten. Well I kept refusing, real lazy =x Yeah lazy to go anywhere so soon when I just came up lol =/
Then we played, talked and all. Then blabla~~~~ araraarara
What happened? :O Oops no idea =p
By then, time flew and it was 5. Finally I decided to get some food cause I was really starving already. So we went down together. I got roti prata, curry puff and popiah! The curry puff was a hoax though! The chicken inside was burnt =.=""
Anyway, went back to lingg's house and I ate my dinner plus lunch lol :O
After that was done. my ulcer started hurting like crazy :( Curry must have aggravated it :( It hurts even when I didn't touch it...
Oh well...still had to work though. So both of us went back into the room to do our work. I continued my model while lingg did her studies for tomorrow's paper.
I got stuck halfway....really had to wreck my brains for a solution. SO worked and worked andddd eventually, at around 9 odd. We both finally did what he aimed to do for the day. The rest of the fine tuning, I'll leave it to tomorrow :O
Soon time came for me to go. Mum was already bugging me =.="
So yeah...she went down with me. 157 came like immediately today =.= So I rushed after it! Best get home as soon as possible before something bad happens again =x
Got home not too long later to realise that my net's down again =.= Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Fortunately, after some fiddling around, managed to revive it. That's how I'm blogging her now :) Since...well...don't really wanna do the model anymore. Had enough of it for the day =.=
Yeah...guess that's about it for today.
She fears suppressing herself, like she said. That's her fear, and I have mine too. Guess each and every one of us...have fears somewhere within don't we?
I live in fear everyday, that one thing that happened back then....will one day come back to haunt me. EVentually take this girl I love away from me. I try telling myself every time I'm just thinking too much. There's nothing of that sort...yet...if you do believe in karma....that's it. It'll come back one day...and I'm just...sitting and waiting for that day to come....
Saturday, June 4, 2011, 5:12 PM
100th!
So I have exceeded a 100 blog posts as well as us being together for 100 days!
Haven't been blogging as much the past days, real busy with stuff =/ Got a little free time on my hands now, so well here I am :)
Let's see, where am I gonna start? I don't know. Past week hasn't been much to talk about. So....guess I'll just start with yesterday? Friday it was. I met lingo again!
Alright, so woke up and all. Prepared and went to school xD *Psst* I didn't bathe that morning :O Cause cause I was so lazy xD Hair wasn't in a mess either so I didn't see the need to lol =x
SO got to school at around 8:45? Along the way we were messaging each other again :) Lesson on level design started and the lecturer gave us the whole 3 hours to touch up our submission.
I sat in front of the com, replayed my levels to make sure they could be completed. Rearranged them, blablabla~~~ And at 10 odd I was done ;D So I submitted my work and slacked LOL!
Went around a few concept sites to look at artworks :) hoho~~
Soon, lesson ended and it was break time! But but but I had to go do some other work...so not much of a break for me =/
Had to unwrap a given human model :( Hate unwrapping....so tedious D;
Time really flew and the next thing I knew it was 3...lesson time~~
Lecturer came in and gave us tutorials on more unwrapping and texturing. Guess what? He said there are programs out there that automatically unwraps with selection....so what did we do all these for? D; Well....he said these programs are costly and not all studios may have them :O
Oh well...looks like manual unwrapping is a necessary skill :(
For some reason, lecturer decided to release us at 5:45 :O Maybe he has a date? On a friday night~~~ hehehee xD
I quickly went off for the movie viewing event. Texted lingo too cause I had the impression she would do stuff and miss time xD Like fantassssss**** ya know? =p
Well she was still at home when I texted her xD No wait...think I called her? xD
Then I called mum and she was still in the office. So so I made a bet with her that I would reach vivo before her. Loser buys cinema food xD
SO I quickly went to the station and trained down. When I reached chinatown, my mum called me and said she was there D; Nooooo~~~ I was 1 stop away :(
So got popcorn, drink and sausage sandwich. Was real crowded with the queue and lingg was gonna be late :O
Oh well, time for seating and my mum and her colleagues charged in. I waited outside with the drink for lingo :O
The drink was so cold that my fingers felt like they were on the verge of getting a frostbite :( So so so...I went into the cinema to put the drink down before waiting for lingo again.
Coincidentally, when I was about to go out again, lingo called me :O Saying she was here! So I went out to pick her up :)
Went in and settled down. Then then there was this DBSK beside me! Where my drink was! I was like so afraid she'd accidentally drink mine :( or or knock it over D; So so I took my drink and placed it on the arm rest beside lingo's seat xD
Next, some technical faults came up with the movie =.="" GV always have such problems. This is my 5th time having problems with GV....
Cathay was always smooth sailing =/
So movie was delayed and delayed till 7:30, a good half an hour =/ Then finally! We can watch the movie LOL! KUNG FU PANDA 2!!
It was in 3D =/ Don't really fancy 3D viewings...
Why? Ain't it nice to have characters popping out? Well no LOL! One thing, it's annoying for people like me who are wearing specs and another, the colours on the movie screen isn't as vibrant with the 3D glasses on. :(
Oh well =/
SO ate popcorn and stuff, watched the movie. I fed lingg popcorns!
Movie was pretty nice :) Funny funny~~ Po!
I like the peacock too xD When he fights~~ Damn graceful hoho~~ Nice animations :)
After the movie, it was around 9 and time to go :O
I saw lingo home so mum took a bus on her own.
For some reason, she was real quiet all the way :( Then then at the bus interchange I oversaw one of her messages. And and it bugged me all the way back. I tried to suppress that, so talked and joked with her on the bus.
Back at her area, she wanted our latest photos so I went up to pass them to her :O
Then then she grabbed her phone, slide to the toilet and asked me over text if I could stay over :O
I thought a little, then called my mum. She said ok o.o
So yeah xD Just well, my jeans are a tad uncomfortable...not sleeping material ya know xD
Then I was starving, haven't had a single meal the entire day. So lingo asked if I wanna eat the extra food left from dinner since her sis wasn't coming back for dinner. Yeah sure why not LOL!
So lingo chucked some rice to me and I ate everything!! Lotsa mushrooms hehe :)
Then then back to the room we went. Coms went off at around 12 and we were chatting and all on bed. Time flew and it was like 1.30 am :O
Lights out!
Then...I asked lingg something.
Then then after that I cried ;(
Shan't say much on this yeah..
After that, somehow...don't know why, had a little fun lol.
Then sleep!
At around 11 odd I believe? Heard some cracking sounds so I opened my eyes and saw lingo fiddling with her spectacle box :O
ThenI woke a little and hugged with her :)
Then next she patted me to sleep hehe :)
As again, next thing I knew was 2 or so when I woke again. Lingg just bathed :O
So we hugged, chatted and stuff till about 3 xD Then time for her tuition :O Time for me to go.
Before that, asked her to help me tie my hair xD hoho~~~ So cute!!
Then she saw me out, at the door we hugged and kissed again. Then then this guy came from around the corner xD Caught in the act!
Next I went back home. Took a bus, really crowded :(
Reached home at around 3:50? Then got changed and did some work.
Got tired of it so took a break, and decided to blog :)
Alright guess that's about all for now. Mum bought pepper lunch for me! Just ate it but but still so hungry :( Wehhhh~~~
Haven't been blogging as much the past days, real busy with stuff =/ Got a little free time on my hands now, so well here I am :)
Let's see, where am I gonna start? I don't know. Past week hasn't been much to talk about. So....guess I'll just start with yesterday? Friday it was. I met lingo again!
Alright, so woke up and all. Prepared and went to school xD *Psst* I didn't bathe that morning :O Cause cause I was so lazy xD Hair wasn't in a mess either so I didn't see the need to lol =x
SO got to school at around 8:45? Along the way we were messaging each other again :) Lesson on level design started and the lecturer gave us the whole 3 hours to touch up our submission.
I sat in front of the com, replayed my levels to make sure they could be completed. Rearranged them, blablabla~~~ And at 10 odd I was done ;D So I submitted my work and slacked LOL!
Went around a few concept sites to look at artworks :) hoho~~
Soon, lesson ended and it was break time! But but but I had to go do some other work...so not much of a break for me =/
Had to unwrap a given human model :( Hate unwrapping....so tedious D;
Time really flew and the next thing I knew it was 3...lesson time~~
Lecturer came in and gave us tutorials on more unwrapping and texturing. Guess what? He said there are programs out there that automatically unwraps with selection....so what did we do all these for? D; Well....he said these programs are costly and not all studios may have them :O
Oh well...looks like manual unwrapping is a necessary skill :(
For some reason, lecturer decided to release us at 5:45 :O Maybe he has a date? On a friday night~~~ hehehee xD
I quickly went off for the movie viewing event. Texted lingo too cause I had the impression she would do stuff and miss time xD Like fantassssss**** ya know? =p
Well she was still at home when I texted her xD No wait...think I called her? xD
Then I called mum and she was still in the office. So so I made a bet with her that I would reach vivo before her. Loser buys cinema food xD
SO I quickly went to the station and trained down. When I reached chinatown, my mum called me and said she was there D; Nooooo~~~ I was 1 stop away :(
So got popcorn, drink and sausage sandwich. Was real crowded with the queue and lingg was gonna be late :O
Oh well, time for seating and my mum and her colleagues charged in. I waited outside with the drink for lingo :O
The drink was so cold that my fingers felt like they were on the verge of getting a frostbite :( So so so...I went into the cinema to put the drink down before waiting for lingo again.
Coincidentally, when I was about to go out again, lingo called me :O Saying she was here! So I went out to pick her up :)
Went in and settled down. Then then there was this DBSK beside me! Where my drink was! I was like so afraid she'd accidentally drink mine :( or or knock it over D; So so I took my drink and placed it on the arm rest beside lingo's seat xD
Next, some technical faults came up with the movie =.="" GV always have such problems. This is my 5th time having problems with GV....
Cathay was always smooth sailing =/
So movie was delayed and delayed till 7:30, a good half an hour =/ Then finally! We can watch the movie LOL! KUNG FU PANDA 2!!
It was in 3D =/ Don't really fancy 3D viewings...
Why? Ain't it nice to have characters popping out? Well no LOL! One thing, it's annoying for people like me who are wearing specs and another, the colours on the movie screen isn't as vibrant with the 3D glasses on. :(
Oh well =/
SO ate popcorn and stuff, watched the movie. I fed lingg popcorns!
Movie was pretty nice :) Funny funny~~ Po!
I like the peacock too xD When he fights~~ Damn graceful hoho~~ Nice animations :)
After the movie, it was around 9 and time to go :O
I saw lingo home so mum took a bus on her own.
For some reason, she was real quiet all the way :( Then then at the bus interchange I oversaw one of her messages. And and it bugged me all the way back. I tried to suppress that, so talked and joked with her on the bus.
Back at her area, she wanted our latest photos so I went up to pass them to her :O
Then then she grabbed her phone, slide to the toilet and asked me over text if I could stay over :O
I thought a little, then called my mum. She said ok o.o
So yeah xD Just well, my jeans are a tad uncomfortable...not sleeping material ya know xD
Then I was starving, haven't had a single meal the entire day. So lingo asked if I wanna eat the extra food left from dinner since her sis wasn't coming back for dinner. Yeah sure why not LOL!
So lingo chucked some rice to me and I ate everything!! Lotsa mushrooms hehe :)
Then then back to the room we went. Coms went off at around 12 and we were chatting and all on bed. Time flew and it was like 1.30 am :O
Lights out!
Then...I asked lingg something.
Then then after that I cried ;(
Shan't say much on this yeah..
After that, somehow...don't know why, had a little fun lol.
Then sleep!
At around 11 odd I believe? Heard some cracking sounds so I opened my eyes and saw lingo fiddling with her spectacle box :O
ThenI woke a little and hugged with her :)
Then next she patted me to sleep hehe :)
As again, next thing I knew was 2 or so when I woke again. Lingg just bathed :O
So we hugged, chatted and stuff till about 3 xD Then time for her tuition :O Time for me to go.
Before that, asked her to help me tie my hair xD hoho~~~ So cute!!
Then she saw me out, at the door we hugged and kissed again. Then then this guy came from around the corner xD Caught in the act!
Next I went back home. Took a bus, really crowded :(
Reached home at around 3:50? Then got changed and did some work.
Got tired of it so took a break, and decided to blog :)
Alright guess that's about all for now. Mum bought pepper lunch for me! Just ate it but but still so hungry :( Wehhhh~~~
Thursday, June 2, 2011, 12:59 AM
Has it all faded...?
Has it? Has everything faded like how we'd hope it wouldn't. Is everything realising itself all over again...?
Does she still feel anything for me?
Or maybe...it has all already gone to dust...
Does she still feel anything for me?
Or maybe...it has all already gone to dust...
