Wednesday, April 13, 2011, 9:38 PM
Gomenasai
So had a little exchange just now in the late evening with lingg. Sigh...of course, I never said she was ever wrong in her opinions and feelings, and I never blamed her for it.
Yeah...in any case, I sure have my own share of faults too. What can I say? Maybe I'm a lousy guy after all, contrary to what she chose to believe in.
Anyway, later on my cousin came up again and passed me another gift from H&M. A bowler hat this time. It was then I realised the scarf mentioned 2 posts down wasn't meant for me. It was for my sis, the hat on the other hand, is for me.
Well figures, was wondering why a red polka-dotted scarf for me. Seems kinda a weird choice, my hunch was right :O In any case, the hat suits alot better yeah.
I actually asked lingg if I could go over. Yeah this voice in my head telling me that I have school briefing dead early in the morning, and that I had to be back by 10. Yet I just so much wanna see her, see how's she doing. That prompted me to ask. Well...kinda got rejected either way =/
So guess I won't be heading over, as much as I want to.
After that I just went down to thoughts. I don't know if she still wants me anymore. Given how she finally mentioned how tired she was of all these.
If it was the old me, I would have probably given up, or said something of that like. There I don't want to, not now. I just really wanna be with her, my whole life if I could. True she makes me mad or sad sometimes, but regardless of how she treats me with her attitude...I just find my mind drifting back to her always. Then these images start filling my mind and a phrase she once told me will make me back away from the thought of giving up.
The phrase: You wanna give all that possibility up?
Now, I don't wanna give those possibilities up, as long as there is that glimmer of hope and chance. I wanna...make her my wife...ya know?
Yeah...even with that thought. I never really believed I had that kinda fortune. I know myself better than anyone, my luck and fortune, it never laid with love. Something always screws up to take it from me, be it external or myself.
Seems falling into place doesn't it? I just hope...she won't give up. Then again, with a lousy guy, or possibly a lousy boyfriend like me....if I were her, I don't know why I'd stay for.
That aside, later on I received a call from the dude who did the survey for me yesterday at orchard. Guess what? He is telling me I have been shortlisted by his company to do freelance jobs. All I have to do is turn up for some sorta orientation tomorrow and I'm hired O.O
Sounds a little too good to be true, but no harm finding out. The term freelance is real tempting there. Nothing beats doing a job as a freelancer.
So now I'm doing this post, I don't know what for, but yeah...
But I guess the main crux here is to apologise to my beloved lingg.
Saw it on one of her posts, regardless a girl is right or wrong in an argument, always accomodate her.
With that, I'm just gonna put all that shit aside and say I'm sorry lingg. I missed that out, well...guess that just makes me a real shitty guy doesn't it? Doesn't really matter to me anymore. But...
Yeah...
Lingg, I'm very sorry.
I hope...you won't give up. I know I don't want to.
Gomenasai...
Yeah...in any case, I sure have my own share of faults too. What can I say? Maybe I'm a lousy guy after all, contrary to what she chose to believe in.
Anyway, later on my cousin came up again and passed me another gift from H&M. A bowler hat this time. It was then I realised the scarf mentioned 2 posts down wasn't meant for me. It was for my sis, the hat on the other hand, is for me.
Well figures, was wondering why a red polka-dotted scarf for me. Seems kinda a weird choice, my hunch was right :O In any case, the hat suits alot better yeah.
I actually asked lingg if I could go over. Yeah this voice in my head telling me that I have school briefing dead early in the morning, and that I had to be back by 10. Yet I just so much wanna see her, see how's she doing. That prompted me to ask. Well...kinda got rejected either way =/
So guess I won't be heading over, as much as I want to.
After that I just went down to thoughts. I don't know if she still wants me anymore. Given how she finally mentioned how tired she was of all these.
If it was the old me, I would have probably given up, or said something of that like. There I don't want to, not now. I just really wanna be with her, my whole life if I could. True she makes me mad or sad sometimes, but regardless of how she treats me with her attitude...I just find my mind drifting back to her always. Then these images start filling my mind and a phrase she once told me will make me back away from the thought of giving up.
The phrase: You wanna give all that possibility up?
Now, I don't wanna give those possibilities up, as long as there is that glimmer of hope and chance. I wanna...make her my wife...ya know?
Yeah...even with that thought. I never really believed I had that kinda fortune. I know myself better than anyone, my luck and fortune, it never laid with love. Something always screws up to take it from me, be it external or myself.
Seems falling into place doesn't it? I just hope...she won't give up. Then again, with a lousy guy, or possibly a lousy boyfriend like me....if I were her, I don't know why I'd stay for.
That aside, later on I received a call from the dude who did the survey for me yesterday at orchard. Guess what? He is telling me I have been shortlisted by his company to do freelance jobs. All I have to do is turn up for some sorta orientation tomorrow and I'm hired O.O
Sounds a little too good to be true, but no harm finding out. The term freelance is real tempting there. Nothing beats doing a job as a freelancer.
So now I'm doing this post, I don't know what for, but yeah...
But I guess the main crux here is to apologise to my beloved lingg.
Saw it on one of her posts, regardless a girl is right or wrong in an argument, always accomodate her.
With that, I'm just gonna put all that shit aside and say I'm sorry lingg. I missed that out, well...guess that just makes me a real shitty guy doesn't it? Doesn't really matter to me anymore. But...
Yeah...
Lingg, I'm very sorry.
I hope...you won't give up. I know I don't want to.
Gomenasai...
