Thursday, March 17, 2011, 3:50 PM
I love you lingg
Well nothing else much is important here, but a very important event occured on Wednesday, so I shall start with that.
I stayed over at lingg's on Tuesday night so we both woke up at around 3 odd the next afternoon. I felt hungry so suggested going to get some food to fill the stomach. Yeah "some" food. I ended up getting 3 curry puffs, a bottle of green tea and a pack of chicken rice =x
Right I was just real hungry I think. After getting the stuff, we headed back to lingg's. By the time I got back I was already done with 2 curry puffs xD Didn't wanna eat the last one yet just in case I didn't had enough space in my stomach left for the chicken rice. So while I ate my chicken rice, lingg went on to cook fried rice for herself.
Well she cooked ALOT of it =x By the time I was done with my rice I felt so bloated it was like as if my stomach could burst any minute. Yeah t'was kinda uncomfortable....
Later on at 6 odd. Lingg's jie came over with roasted pork I think? Then they started eating the fried rice since there was so much of it. Then lingg's mum came back not long after and showed us an essay written by some kid. It was about a family of cockroaches and a touching event that occured within them. So much for touching, it was so damn hilarious instead =x Then again, if I was the marker, I would give him a pretty high score xD I mean, hey, it's creative, and there IS a touch of touching moment there, just well....not done in the conventional way that's all =p
Then at 7:15, I had to leave first to help with my mum carry her shopping at jurong point. I got there and yeah...she was late =x So bought bought and then we went home. Got back at around 9 and then she asked if I will be staying at home tonight...and I said no =/
That moment she flared up, and kinda gave me a dressing down. But in the end, I still left anyway, cause I made a promise to lingg....and I don't wanna break it :(
Then I bused down to lingg's house. Yeah I was really moody, and sad and all. Then then I gave my mum a call and she gave me 3 choices. Either I continue with her, but be back home everyday, break up with her, or don't bother coming home anymore. For anyone else, they would have shrugged it aside right? After all, which parent wouldn't want their child? Not for me, my mum may be one of the nicest people I know, but when she is serious, she mean what she say. I have experienced it firsthand before and have no wish to test her patience :(
That said, of course, I'm left with 2 choices. I really don't know what to do, which to choose. Then lingg somehow sensed that I was upset, and kept on bugging me about what was going on. Well maybe I shouldn't use the word bug....she is showing her concern right?
So after awhile, I finally told her what was going on. I broke down, cause I was really at a lost, it seems like either way this could not continue. She was alright initially, but then her entire expression changed. Then I saw tears building up in her eyes. She....was crying... :(
I know this decision is about myself, my life. But when it concerns us both, I don't care about my life anymore, especially not when her happiness was at stake. I would sacrifice my own happiness if it would materialise her own. So I gave my choices to her, I let her decide how she wants it to be. To stay on or to leave.
That moment, I really wished she would compromise, and stay on with me. But if we can't meet everyday anymore, would she truly be happy? That thought bugged me. Then I turned and looked at the second option. What if......I let her go? Set her free, let her find another guy who can give her the true happiness I cannot give. If letting her go now would bring her happiness later, I would do it. Keeping her no longer means anything to me, all I want now, is to see her happy. I just want to see those true smiles again.....even if it means losing her.
I cried even more with this thought. It was hard enough to see her go, and even worse if I have to be the one to usher her along. Yet I knew any pain would be worth it, she's all that matters to me now.
Then out of my expectations....she told me she wanted the first choice. She....actually wanted to stay on, despite knowing it's gonna be a hard road for herself. I was happy...and I was speechless. Then we hugged each other and cried for the next hour or so.
After we calmed down, did a little other stuff and went on to sleep. We gave each other a couple of passionate kisses before going to bed :)
Next morning I woke up, was cause of vibration from my phone. My mum got my message and said I was to be home by 3 if I intend to keep that promise. After that I went back to sleep. Then both of us woke up at 1:45. We then hugged each other cause I had to go soon. For some reason...lingg cried again. It really broke my heart to see those teary eyes.....
We continued hugging and at 2:27, I had to go. I packed up and lingg saw me out. At her doorstep, I hugged her again, and gave her another kiss. Deep down...I don't wanna leave, I wanna be with her. But....circumstances forbid sigh...
After a few more tight hugs, I had to go. Looking at her teary eyes...I really couldn't bear to leave, I had to force myself. As I walked down the corridoor, I cried a little....then I turned back to look at her a couple of times till I was at the lift lobby. Then I turned into the corner and she was gone from my sight. I called for the lift and walked back around the corner again, hoping to catch a last glimpse of lingg, but she had already went back into her house :(
With that, I bused back home.
This is the first major obstacle, and I hope....it will serve to make our bond stronger. Cause I know this had made me realise how deep my love for lingg was. I never knew I could let you go, or even sacrifice myself for you. But yesterday night showed myself that I could. I believe in my love for you even more now.
I love you lingg.
I stayed over at lingg's on Tuesday night so we both woke up at around 3 odd the next afternoon. I felt hungry so suggested going to get some food to fill the stomach. Yeah "some" food. I ended up getting 3 curry puffs, a bottle of green tea and a pack of chicken rice =x
Right I was just real hungry I think. After getting the stuff, we headed back to lingg's. By the time I got back I was already done with 2 curry puffs xD Didn't wanna eat the last one yet just in case I didn't had enough space in my stomach left for the chicken rice. So while I ate my chicken rice, lingg went on to cook fried rice for herself.
Well she cooked ALOT of it =x By the time I was done with my rice I felt so bloated it was like as if my stomach could burst any minute. Yeah t'was kinda uncomfortable....
Later on at 6 odd. Lingg's jie came over with roasted pork I think? Then they started eating the fried rice since there was so much of it. Then lingg's mum came back not long after and showed us an essay written by some kid. It was about a family of cockroaches and a touching event that occured within them. So much for touching, it was so damn hilarious instead =x Then again, if I was the marker, I would give him a pretty high score xD I mean, hey, it's creative, and there IS a touch of touching moment there, just well....not done in the conventional way that's all =p
Then at 7:15, I had to leave first to help with my mum carry her shopping at jurong point. I got there and yeah...she was late =x So bought bought and then we went home. Got back at around 9 and then she asked if I will be staying at home tonight...and I said no =/
That moment she flared up, and kinda gave me a dressing down. But in the end, I still left anyway, cause I made a promise to lingg....and I don't wanna break it :(
Then I bused down to lingg's house. Yeah I was really moody, and sad and all. Then then I gave my mum a call and she gave me 3 choices. Either I continue with her, but be back home everyday, break up with her, or don't bother coming home anymore. For anyone else, they would have shrugged it aside right? After all, which parent wouldn't want their child? Not for me, my mum may be one of the nicest people I know, but when she is serious, she mean what she say. I have experienced it firsthand before and have no wish to test her patience :(
That said, of course, I'm left with 2 choices. I really don't know what to do, which to choose. Then lingg somehow sensed that I was upset, and kept on bugging me about what was going on. Well maybe I shouldn't use the word bug....she is showing her concern right?
So after awhile, I finally told her what was going on. I broke down, cause I was really at a lost, it seems like either way this could not continue. She was alright initially, but then her entire expression changed. Then I saw tears building up in her eyes. She....was crying... :(
I know this decision is about myself, my life. But when it concerns us both, I don't care about my life anymore, especially not when her happiness was at stake. I would sacrifice my own happiness if it would materialise her own. So I gave my choices to her, I let her decide how she wants it to be. To stay on or to leave.
That moment, I really wished she would compromise, and stay on with me. But if we can't meet everyday anymore, would she truly be happy? That thought bugged me. Then I turned and looked at the second option. What if......I let her go? Set her free, let her find another guy who can give her the true happiness I cannot give. If letting her go now would bring her happiness later, I would do it. Keeping her no longer means anything to me, all I want now, is to see her happy. I just want to see those true smiles again.....even if it means losing her.
I cried even more with this thought. It was hard enough to see her go, and even worse if I have to be the one to usher her along. Yet I knew any pain would be worth it, she's all that matters to me now.
Then out of my expectations....she told me she wanted the first choice. She....actually wanted to stay on, despite knowing it's gonna be a hard road for herself. I was happy...and I was speechless. Then we hugged each other and cried for the next hour or so.
After we calmed down, did a little other stuff and went on to sleep. We gave each other a couple of passionate kisses before going to bed :)
Next morning I woke up, was cause of vibration from my phone. My mum got my message and said I was to be home by 3 if I intend to keep that promise. After that I went back to sleep. Then both of us woke up at 1:45. We then hugged each other cause I had to go soon. For some reason...lingg cried again. It really broke my heart to see those teary eyes.....
We continued hugging and at 2:27, I had to go. I packed up and lingg saw me out. At her doorstep, I hugged her again, and gave her another kiss. Deep down...I don't wanna leave, I wanna be with her. But....circumstances forbid sigh...
After a few more tight hugs, I had to go. Looking at her teary eyes...I really couldn't bear to leave, I had to force myself. As I walked down the corridoor, I cried a little....then I turned back to look at her a couple of times till I was at the lift lobby. Then I turned into the corner and she was gone from my sight. I called for the lift and walked back around the corner again, hoping to catch a last glimpse of lingg, but she had already went back into her house :(
With that, I bused back home.
This is the first major obstacle, and I hope....it will serve to make our bond stronger. Cause I know this had made me realise how deep my love for lingg was. I never knew I could let you go, or even sacrifice myself for you. But yesterday night showed myself that I could. I believe in my love for you even more now.
I love you lingg.
