Sunday, January 30, 2011, 10:16 PM
The Little Pieces
Yeah, you've guessed it, I riled her up today. Don't ask why...cause I haven't the slightest clue either. Each time I accidentally riled her up, I try my best to gain her forgiveness. I might have gotten lucky the past times, but you'll never know when that luck runs out do you?
I messaged her, I rang her up, I msn'ed her, but she would take no notice of any. I apologised and she said there's no point in aplogising if I don't know what I have done. So I begged for her forgiveness, and I got the same answer. I'm at my wits end, I don't even know what else to do anymore.
Now because of this, our outing tomorrow is cancelled...I miss her so much :(
Ya know, just 4 more days and it'll be my birthday. Yet, bad things always seem to happen to be nearing my birthday. It was like this 5 years back, it was the same 2 years back, and now it's happening again. People dear to me have to leave when my birthday nears, and it makes me wonder if my birthday is cursed to me. Sigh....and I actually naively believed that this year's birthday would be something different, something special, something....worth remembering. I guess not....
I really don't know what else I can do, and I don't know when all of this dreams will end, when my borrowed time together with her will one day abruptly end. Sigh...
Ling, if ya even reading this at all, I'm just gonna say I'm very sorry cause for all I know, this time it might be for real, you might actually be hating me for good. Yet there is nothing I can do about it...
Ya know when I was recording your voice back when we were on the swings and when I was at your house, you asked me why I did so? I didn't answer back then, but I will now. I recorded your voice as keepsakes. Why? Cause I'm afraid one day you'll leave all of a sudden. It could be today, it could be tomorrow, I'll never know. But when that happens, at least I still have those recordings to remind me of you. To keep the little dream going, even if it's just an illusion.
When you ignored me earlier, I kept playing those recordings over and over again. It felt like as if you were still beside me, that you're still there, that I'm not alone again, at least not yet.
I know you won't hear my apologies or forgive me...but...
Ling, if you're still reading at this point, I'm very sorry. And just in case this time it's for real, Ling...I love you, you'll always be that part of me, the little pieces that make me complete.
You were my new dream 2 months back, you are my new dream now, and you'll always be.
I messaged her, I rang her up, I msn'ed her, but she would take no notice of any. I apologised and she said there's no point in aplogising if I don't know what I have done. So I begged for her forgiveness, and I got the same answer. I'm at my wits end, I don't even know what else to do anymore.
Now because of this, our outing tomorrow is cancelled...I miss her so much :(
Ya know, just 4 more days and it'll be my birthday. Yet, bad things always seem to happen to be nearing my birthday. It was like this 5 years back, it was the same 2 years back, and now it's happening again. People dear to me have to leave when my birthday nears, and it makes me wonder if my birthday is cursed to me. Sigh....and I actually naively believed that this year's birthday would be something different, something special, something....worth remembering. I guess not....
I really don't know what else I can do, and I don't know when all of this dreams will end, when my borrowed time together with her will one day abruptly end. Sigh...
Ling, if ya even reading this at all, I'm just gonna say I'm very sorry cause for all I know, this time it might be for real, you might actually be hating me for good. Yet there is nothing I can do about it...
Ya know when I was recording your voice back when we were on the swings and when I was at your house, you asked me why I did so? I didn't answer back then, but I will now. I recorded your voice as keepsakes. Why? Cause I'm afraid one day you'll leave all of a sudden. It could be today, it could be tomorrow, I'll never know. But when that happens, at least I still have those recordings to remind me of you. To keep the little dream going, even if it's just an illusion.
When you ignored me earlier, I kept playing those recordings over and over again. It felt like as if you were still beside me, that you're still there, that I'm not alone again, at least not yet.
I know you won't hear my apologies or forgive me...but...
Ling, if you're still reading at this point, I'm very sorry. And just in case this time it's for real, Ling...I love you, you'll always be that part of me, the little pieces that make me complete.
You were my new dream 2 months back, you are my new dream now, and you'll always be.
