Monday, July 4, 2011, 3:36 PM
I don't get it, I really don't.
I'm trying to make a future out of our love, a wonderful one where we'll both be happy and always have each other. Isn't that what you want too?
That's what you hope to achieve too isn't it? Then why make things so hard for the both of us? I really don't understand....
Do you really wanna ruin things that much...?
When you blew up at me yesterday, I kept my cool. Told myself, everything will be alright, just apologise. I gave you some time to cool down then came back to you again. Then when you were okay, I was kinda happy, happy I managed to avert another disaster.
Then you came up with something else again. You know I don't like to be forced. If it's important, even if I'm forced I will do it. Yet you know....yesterday going out with yout family, and doing it for you was just an excuse...my presence would just simply satisfy your envy that your sis's boyfriend was there.
You envy that little thing of theirs, but have you never thought you always had something she didn't? Something really important she didn't have. So why compare yourself to something that minor? Are you worth just that? No....you are worth more than just a simple case of envy.
And today, I only wanted time for you to cool down, and maybe also time for me to brace myself again just in case I lose my cool. Then the first thing you did, was blew up at me again.
You apologised yesterday saying you just wanna make sure I didn't think you were treating me as a punching bag. Part of me believed...but then part of me again starts to believe my presence is more of a punching bag to you, someone for you to vent your anger on because there isn't anyone else to. Just because I'm close to you, that I'm someone for you to punch on, for you to hurt?
Am I even a boyfriend to you...? Am I even someone you ever intended to have a future with?
Can't we ever just settle things amicably?
Can't we be more than just conflicts and quarrels?
I so much wanna have future with you, spend my life, share my experiences with you. Yet it seems...that isn't really important to you is it?
I'm trying to make a future out of our love, a wonderful one where we'll both be happy and always have each other. Isn't that what you want too?
That's what you hope to achieve too isn't it? Then why make things so hard for the both of us? I really don't understand....
Do you really wanna ruin things that much...?
When you blew up at me yesterday, I kept my cool. Told myself, everything will be alright, just apologise. I gave you some time to cool down then came back to you again. Then when you were okay, I was kinda happy, happy I managed to avert another disaster.
Then you came up with something else again. You know I don't like to be forced. If it's important, even if I'm forced I will do it. Yet you know....yesterday going out with yout family, and doing it for you was just an excuse...my presence would just simply satisfy your envy that your sis's boyfriend was there.
You envy that little thing of theirs, but have you never thought you always had something she didn't? Something really important she didn't have. So why compare yourself to something that minor? Are you worth just that? No....you are worth more than just a simple case of envy.
And today, I only wanted time for you to cool down, and maybe also time for me to brace myself again just in case I lose my cool. Then the first thing you did, was blew up at me again.
You apologised yesterday saying you just wanna make sure I didn't think you were treating me as a punching bag. Part of me believed...but then part of me again starts to believe my presence is more of a punching bag to you, someone for you to vent your anger on because there isn't anyone else to. Just because I'm close to you, that I'm someone for you to punch on, for you to hurt?
Am I even a boyfriend to you...? Am I even someone you ever intended to have a future with?
Can't we ever just settle things amicably?
Can't we be more than just conflicts and quarrels?
I so much wanna have future with you, spend my life, share my experiences with you. Yet it seems...that isn't really important to you is it?
